i believe

•5•

We both start uncontrollably laughing as we lay in the water at the beach.

[Flashback over]

"MORGAN! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

I blink and I shake my head lightly. I then realize that I'm still in the damn kitchen with the boys. Austin is snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I snap.

"You were completely zoned out."

I smile and I start to think about what I was just thinking about. That beach date was so much fun. "Sorry."

"It's cool. We are leaving though."

"What about Nick?" I ask.

"He's coming," Brandon says.

We get in the car and then a few minutes later Mr slow poke shows up. "It's about damn time!" Brandon yells as he sits down next to me in the car. Austin drives away from the house.

"Well I'm sorry that I couldn't find my chain," he says. "I have so much shit on my counter."

I giggle because all the shit on his counter is because of me. It's all of my makeup and hair shit. I basically live at the house with the boys, "That would be me."

"I know it would."

"Sorry," I say.

He smiles, "It's fine, ma."

We listen to music the whole ride to the studio and then we arrive. We get out and we go to the conference room. The room that I met the boys in. The whole team is already here, so we take our seats.

"Now that everyone is here. Let's start," Whitney says while standing up. "Tour is exactly two months away. It's getting very serious now. First thing we need to know is Morgan do you plan to come with the boys?"

I look at Nick and he nods his head. I don't want to go if he's no comfortable, but I know he doesn't care.

"I'm coming."

"Perfect," she says. "Now for the merch."

[Two boring hours later]

Nick and I get in the car and the boys all wait outside for their Uber. I kinda feel bad, but at the same time it's whatever. Nick starts to drive away and I say, "I never thought it would end."

He chuckles, "Honestly me either. Meetings around tour time are always the longest though."

"How many more meetings do you guys have?"

"We will probably start to have one once a week until tour starts. It's all so crazy and everything has to be ready."

I groan, "Do I have to go?"

"Well since you are part of the team, yes."

I roll my eyes. Ugh. I hated everything about that meeting. It was so boring and I just wanted to sleep the whole time.

I look out the window and for some reason I start to think of some of Nick and I's dates. I don't know why I start to think of it, but I do. Probably because I'm scared of it ending soon. It could end it any second because of me.

One time we went paint balling. Another we went to a huge arcade. He also took me to ride a hot air balloon. Oh, it was so amazing. I was so happy. We have had so many ice cream and dinner dates. Honestly, I don't know how I'm not fat. I guess the meds help with that.

Nick and I have also had our first fight. Which is normal. I'm glad we did. It made us seem so much stronger.

[Flashback]

"Screw off, Nick! He literally complimented my shoes!"

"I don't care," he yells back at me. "He shouldn't have said that to you. Plus he was eyeing you the whole time we were there."

"So how is that my problem? I DIDN'T ASK FOR HIM TO LOOK AT ME!"

"Well you didn't seem to mind."

I roll my eyes, "Fuck you, Nick."

I run out of his room and I slam the door super loud. I hear something fall. It's probably the picture on his wall. I don't care though. I just keep walking until I'm outside.

[Flashback over]

"Mamas?"

I look over at him and he puts his hand on my thigh. "You okay?"

"Yes, why?"

"You just seem really deep into thought."

I smile, "I'm fine."

He chuckles, "I was getting worried since you haven't begged me to tell you where we are going yet."

"Well where are we going?"

"That would be a surprise. Like usual," he says. "But now I know you are okay since you asked."

I smile lightly and I look back out the window. He doesn't deserve any of this. Ugh. I wish I could tell him. It's the only thing I want.

I just want to tell him everything.