Well it was just like any other day. Horrible. Honestly I hate school so much. Like I really I can't even stand it, my entire bring just rejects the very idea of it. At least at this particular school with my particular curriculum. You see I happen to have all the worst teachers and all the worst classes-I was late signing up and so I got into, oh how many good classes again? Oh haha that's right! Zero. Zero of the classes that I even 'kind of' wanted-with the same horrible people. I somehow, in the pure metric frick-ton of absolute CHAOS that is the school class assignment thingy-do I really care enough to actually learn the proper name? No, no not really-I somehow got put into not only honors history, which I suck at to begin with, but I also got saddled into honors math. Math the bane of all existence and the ruiner of my life. Like what? You didn't have enough spots in the, these people suck so much at math it's actually a conversation class? Really, have you seen my math grades? How was I even able to get in here? I swear that when you get a low enough GPA in a certain subject they'll convince you you're real good at it just so you can make a fool of yourself, just out of spite. Huh, who knew? I do, now. Well like I said, so today was totally horrible yadda, yadda, yadda. But also this day was topped off really nice with just the biggest cherry of suck on the Sundae of my life. Except the ice cream is actually feces and the sprinkles are made of disappointment. Delicious. But oh what made this momentous occasion so horrible you ask? Well let me just take your arm and skip you along joyfully on the wonderful path that is the date January 25th.
It was cold af and really what could you expect when it's the never unfreezing dead heart of winter and you happen to have woken up shivering like a freakin chihuahua, with your covers strewn across you room in the most artistically and poetic way you could've ever imagined. Really it was quite beautiful, like the bed and my legs and my sheets had the most heart wrenching forbidden three-way relationship and they ended up having to split up into completely separate corners of the earth-those being the corners that said sheets were laying in now-in order to protect their love and stop the rampaging townsfolk from calling total witchcraft and burning the stupid town down in surprise and fluster because they just could not believe that three people can be in a loving relationship together without the devil having something to do with it. Scandalous. Its actually quite a touching story; I may have shed a tear or two. Wow, slap a patent on that and make it a movie, I'm gonna be rich! Just swimming in money!any-who lets just say it was probably not the best idea to go to bed in shorts and a tank top at this time in the season, but hey, I was feeling adventurous. I probably should have consulted one of the many winter sleepwear guides that people actually spent time on because they know that there are going to be idiots like me that think they're a lot more cold resistant than they actually are. Whoops. Also that fact that it's mega dark and pretty much pitch black in the morning because, hey! Welcome to winter land! Enjoy your time and we hope it's not too suffocatingly cold for you, but if you start to feel frostbite in any of your limbs, appendages, or facial structures just simply light yourself on fire and you'll warm right up! You're practically in heck already, so hey, why not? But carrying on in the way I always do, half dead with the sleep I wasn't getting-because let's face it all that oh, so, important business I was doing in social media apps on my iPhone needed attention and I didn't have the time to do it otherwise-and also skipped breakfast, my makeup, and almost even brushing my hair at all because heh what even is time really? Nothing significant enough for me to have any respect or acknowledgement for whatsoever. Nope! So, following in this attitude I was also late for school. You see today was just written and prophesied by the ancient people of wherever to be horrid. It was written, probably literally, in stone. Or maybe I was just cursed at birth to have just the suckiest day ever imagined by a witch for something I did in a past life. Maybe I was in the mafia or a tax collector. Or maybe just a really big jerk that ruined all the sick Greek parties by bringing their very elderly delusional grandmother that always talked about "indoor plumbing" and "high-speed wifi". Who knows? But really it was just an averagely horrible day until I was about half way through the school day, and believe me I have every intention of walking you through step by step like a newborn pisslord taking their first steps, so come along and I'll tell you the just absolutely thrilling story about how I not only saw my first dead body, but also about how I almost became one myself! Several times! Wonderful!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ok so obviously this story is MAD sarcastic and is taking forever to get to the point but hey I was really just making this for stress relief and entertainment for me and a certain person who really very much wanted me to write this (yes you you know you filthy rapscallion) but hey obviously if you didn't kind of like the story you wouldn't be reading this! So hey stay tuned kids for just that much more purposefully horrible writing. See ya next time on, 'I have actually lost touch with all sense of sanity please send help'! Hope you have a good one!!! -the super rad writer chick heck yea.
