Where do Broken Hearts go? (A Haylor Fan Fiction)

Chapter 47: Ronan

Tom left my moms old Toyota Venza for me to use and he brought his truck instead. I did not go with my initial plan of going to the market cause as per Tom, she is not allowed to eat anything solid. Her food is going through her IV since she can no longer eat through her mouth.

I arrived at the hospital with heavy footsteps and a pounding in my heart. Half-hearted if I should still go see her. My mother is in her deathbed and I am not sure if I can see her like that.

Gathering all the courage I have, I took the hallways going to her private room. Taking three deep long breaths before I finally opened the door.

Tom was sitting on the sofa holding a book, and when I went further inside I saw an almost unfamiliar woman lying on the bed. She already lost so much weight when I last saw her and now she lost much more. Her bones are very visible and her skin was wrinkled. She was wearing a floral hospital gown and there are a lot of tubes connected to her body.

I looked at Tom as tears started building in my eyes and he shook his head as an answer. Then I saw him stand up and walked out of the room. I blinked my tears away before I walked towards the bed. Her eyes are closed, her cheeks are pale and the corner of her eyes are wet.

"M-mom," I called her in shaking voice.

She was breathing heavily through oxygen on her nose. Slowly she opened her eyes.

"Taylor," she called me, it came out almost a whisper.

I smiled at her weakly, my heart sank.

Sitting on the chair beside her bed I immediately took her left hand. Taking another deep breath and trying my best to hold back my tears.

You can't breakdown in front of her.  I told myself.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I am okay," she answered.

Liar.

She can never be okay looking like this but as considerate as she is, even in her death bed she did not want me to worry.

"I know Tom told you." She said, smiling. "But I am okay,"

I am okay. Hearing that the second time around, I just lost it. The tears just automatically rolled to my cheeks.

"How can you be okay? And how can you not tell me?" I cried.

Her hand that I was holding, slowly reached out to my face and she weakly wiped my tears.

"Don't cry sweetie," she whispered. "I am happy that you are here, I know that I don't have much time, but I couldn't go until you are not okay,"

I looked at her with an obvious confused expression on my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked in between tears.

Then she put her hand on my chest, pointing to my heart.

"Here." She then said. "This is wounded," she said.

"Mom, now is not the time for me, I'm here for you," I told her.

She nodded. "When I am gone," she says.

"Mom stop, you're not going anywhere." I sobbed.

I can never admit the fact that she is going to be gone soon. I just can't.

"A-and, when you pack my things, look for the gray shoebox in my closet. That is for you," she continued. "I am so proud of you Taylor, and I am sorry if we will not have more time together,"

This time I was already sobbing loudly, she is saying goodbye. And I wanna run from that room. I can't listen to this but deep down in my heart I know that if I step out of the room, I might not be able to see her alive again.

"Don't get sad, don't get angry about me going, I have my served my purpose here, and I am thankful for the time that I got spend with you, the Lord gave me such a wonderful life and that is because of you, my beautiful, smart, kind Taylor,"

"I'm sorry Mom," I sobbed. "I'm sorry,"

"I love you Taylor, to the moon and back," she whispered. "Do not be dismay, do not be troubled, send me in peace, follow what is in your heart, when I go, let me take your pain and hurt and anger,"

Nodding at her I stood up and hugged her. She was light that it felt like I was holding a paper. My mom was just so kind that even in her deathbed, she still looking after me. And she knew all about my wounded heart.

When I finally was able to calm myself, I stayed on her side, we reminisced about our times together. Whenever she drives to school every morning and when she picks me up. Whenever she brings me to the mall to windowshopped. She knew I didn't have friends at school so she became my best friend.

She asked me to read to her, I read to her some of my favorite verses in the Bible until she fell asleep.

After a while, she stopped the heavy breathing, the heart rate machine went flat.

Tom and I went panic, few seconds later doctors and nurses started running to our room. I step away from the bed to give space for them.

I was crying as I watched them revive her. I knew in my heart it was time but I was holding onto this little hope of maybe she will open her eyes and breath again.

But she didn't.

The doctor looked at me with grieving eyes, "I'm sorry,"

"Time of death, 1:47 PM"

The moment I heard that I turned my back from everyone and at the door I saw Harry Styles standing with a shock look on his face. Then he ran towards me, pulled me in his arms, and there on his chest I cried the most painful cry I ever had to make in my life.

—
Hi guys,

I'm sorry this chapter took a while. To be honest, I have been avoiding writing this chapter for days, cause everytime I started to write, I ended up crying so hard.

I even thought of changing the flow so I could just avoid but it will really change the course of the story.

Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts. Let me know if you felt the same pain I felt while writing it.

Stay safe everyone!

Lots of Love

-X