With a Jonas

Tell me you Love me

Its been a week since I found out that Nick was a diabetic, I can tell hes been struggling and it hurts to know I can't help him in the way I want to.

I woke up to an empty Bed, I Slipped out of bed standing on the cold floor with my bare feet. I walked out into the living room to see Nick working out, " Push ups again ", I asked

he stood to his feet, looking at me, " I gotta look good "

" mmhm, did you eat "

" no, not yet " 

" Nick, we talked about you not eating and working out on an empty stomache " 

" Maddie, I'm not a child i can take care of myself "

" okay, but your not acting like it, I'm here to take care of you "

" no, your not, your here to Love me thats it "

" If you cant tell I'm trying to love you "

" well, maybe you shouldn't " Nick rubbed off his sweat with a towel sitting on the couch, I sat next to him 

" I told you I love you regardless "

" and I said maybe you shouldn't ", Nick said looking to the floor. I walked over to the Pent house view of the city. 

" Nick, why am I the one always having to prove that I'm in love with you " 

" maybe, Its-Its because, You, are " I turned seeing a red eyed Nick 

" what are you saying to me, that-that, you don't, don't love me, is that it ", burning tears rolled down my cheek 

" It's not personal, Maddie "

" It's not personal, Nick, 3 years, 3 years of my life wasted on someone who could care less about me "

" I do care but, your not good for me, not right now "

" really, what about me, what about whats good for me "

" I don't know "

I walked inches away from him, " tell me you don't love me, tell me you dont love me look me in the eyes, and say it, and I'll walk away " 

" I-I don't, L-love, you anymore "

" okay, " , I walked away from him, I couldn't bare to look at him

*******

I have all this pent up anger and sadness, some derected at Joe and Nick even Kevin, but mostly, towards myself. I'm angry at myself. My studio date wasn't until tomarro but I had to let go of all this rage the only way I knew how was through music. 

I went into the booth when my producer Oak, started playing the track, 

"  Oh no, here we go again

Fighting over what I said
I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry
Bad at love, no, I'm not good at this
But I can't say I'm innocent
Not hardly, but I'm sorry

And all my friends, they know and it's true
I don't know who I am without you
I got it bad, baby
Got it bad

Oh, tell me you love me
I need someone on days like this, I do
On days like this
Oh, tell me you love me
I need someone
On days like this, I do
On days like this
Oh, can you hear my heart say
Ooohhhh, ooh
No, you ain't nobody 'til you got somebody
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody

And I hope I never see the day
That you move on and be happy without me
Without me
What's my hand without your heart to hold?
I don't know what I'm living for
If I'm living without you