A real f**king vampire

Chapter II

Enjoy

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-My generation vampire fandom-

Fan girls: "Awmagawd I loooove Twilight! Edward is so hot and Bella is like a bad B*tch"

Me: "Oh so you like vampires? Cool! Have you seen Bram Stoker's Dracula? I love that movie."

Fan girls: "Wait what...? Is that like a portal to Edward's past...?"

- "Who's Dracula?"

-"Is that a prolog to the vampire diaries?"

Me: -stares dumfounded- "...n-no... okay never mind, what  about an interview with a vampire?"

Fan girls: ........?

Me: "Thirty Days of Night????"

Fan girls: .....................??

Me: "Ultraviolet?!"

Fan girls: "Okay..... You're weird."

Me: -stabs myself in the heart-

-Cheesy ass love stories-

-Spends 10 pages of describing hot steamy necrophilia-

-Only gives half a page of blood war that's been raging for centuries-

Me: "So are we taking script and manuscript ideas from Step Up 3D or what... What's happening..."

-Menacing titles-

Twilight

New Moon

Eclipse

New Dawn

Me: "We know the moon phases and constellations...I mean.. Why... Of all things aren't Blood Moon titled here?!"

The Vampire Diaries

Me: "Okay when the hell do blood sucking dead people worry about carrying a diary? I mean of all things a damn diary?! If I had teeth that would  flirtatiously poke from my lips I would at least carry an Ouija board that had all my victims to speak of my legacy."

One Direction are.... Vampires?!?!

Me: "I'm so done..."

Vampire Knight

Me: ".... eh."

-Handsom fairy men-

Edward: -stares at me-

Me: -stares back at him then blinks and looks at Damon-

Damon: -he looks at me then turns and looks at Nosferatu-

Nosferatu: -turns from Damon and looks at me-

Me: "Don't worry Nosferatu darling you look rather dashing."

Nostferatu: -grins eerily-

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