Our Future (BILLIE EILISH)

- T w e n t y o n e -

Q: "Are you cutting me off?"

Billie: "Yeah."

He ran his hands over his face.

Q: "I just wish you would try B."

Billie: "I tried and tried. But I can't. I didn't do relationships when I met you, and I tried for you! I tried even if it broke everything that I stood for. I tried. Then you changed into someone else that I didn't know."

Q: "You didn't try to get to know me!"

Billie: "You must be dumb as hell."

He looked at me.

Billie: "I'm not supposed to dedicate my time into trying to relearn everything about a person. You changed right in front of me and there was nothing I could've done. I relied on you and you left like it meant nothing to you. Your actions hurt, but your words hurt more. You don't leave someone you love, you said that you didn't realize how good I was until it was too late. I met Maddie two months after you left. She pulled me out of my depression and showed me what being loved actually felt like."

Q: "You said it yourself, you hide your feelings."

Billie: "Maddie and I talked for hours the day you came, I told her why I hide my feelings and why I doubt almost everything that I feel. You coming back into my life was horrible for the both of us, this needs to stop."

Q: "B, you were my happiness. I need that back."

Billie: "Q, you must think I'mma dumbass if I was your happiness then why did you leave?"

Q: "Because I was scared! I was scared that I was going to hurt you. I was scared that you were gonna hate me if I fucked up, because you deserve nothing but perfection. I didn't do relationships either Billie, I know this whole thing started as a fuck buddy situation. But that whole time, you were so much more to me than a quick fuck. You were more than a fuck buddy! I wanted you and only you, but it's too late. I know you're happy with Maddie."

Billie: "I don't understand your logic, if you were scared that you were gonna hurt me, why did you talk to me?"

Q: "Because I fucked up, I don't have a reason besides that. I had you and I lost you. But I understand if you don't wanna be friends."

We both stood up and he gave me a goodbye hug.

Billie: "Take care of yourself."

Q: "Take care of yourself and take care of Maddie."

We pulled away, he gave me a soft smile. I walked back to my car, I rested my head against the steering wheel. I kept thinking about what I said 'You don't leave someone you love.'

Am I doing the wrong thing? I loved him, I never told him that though. But I did, in a way. It's nowhere near the same as the love I have for Maddie.

I drove back to her house, it didn't take me long to get there. But everything that I had said is replaying- everything I said about Maddie. She really did pull me out of my depression, I've been with her for 6 months and I'm just now realizing it?

I opened the garage door, and I see Maddie's car. Claudia's car was parked behind hers but I didn't even clock it.

I walked into her house, I've deadass been with her for 6 months. I can't believe I'm just realizing this.

She's sitting at the island with Claudia, I assume they're talking about their clothing line. I toss my keys beside me, they landed on the table where they were supposed to. Milo is at my feet because I didn't acknowledge her

I walked over to her and gave her a tight hug, she didn't question it. She hugged me back just as tight as I was hugging her, she rested her head in the crook of my neck and whispered, "Are you okay?"

Billie: "I'll text it you."

She gave me a confused look, but she went along with. I opened the back door for Milo and I went out with her, I sat on one of the pool chairs and Milo just wanted attention. I picked her up and kissed the top of her head, I held her face in my hands, smiling at her. She's too fucking cute.

                    Shorty❤️:

                                                to make a long ass fucking story short, i was cutting things off with q and i told him that i didn't wanna be friends with him anymore. i was confused about how i felt, not like that though, every way he hurt me kept replaying in my head. No matter how hard I tried it just wouldn't stop, i knew it was getting to you too when you openly told me. i was talking to him about you, and low-key we were arguing but that's besides the point. ever since the start, i never came to terms with my bad thought and feelings. as i was yelling at him, i said something that opened my eyes. i said that you pulled me out of my depression and you made me see my worth, i didn't even know sad i was until you showed me happiness. you're the best thing that has ever happened to me, and i feel like it took me way fucking long to realize it. but you will never know how much i love you and how much I appreciate everything you have done for me.

I turned off my phone and ran my hands over my face, but shortly after I sent the message, I heard the back door open. She picked up Milo and placed her in her lap, while she looked at me. She had a smile on her face.

Maddie: "I do know how much you love me, and I do know how much you appreciate me. You wanna know how I know?"

I nodded.

Maddie: "Because you did the same thing for me, when I met you. I had no clue how bad I really was, this sounds bad. But the reason, I started to realize how bad it was is because of you. You made me feel loved, I didn't think I was capable of being loved after everything that I was put through. Billie I really didn't think someone like you existed. You are the most patient, caring and loving person I have never met. You're different, you made me feel like it was okay to talk about my problems and to figure out how I could deal with them. You are my outlet, if it weren't for you I wouldn't be in my house, with my dog or with my girlfriend." She laced our hands together.

Billie: "I think you meant to say our dog." I smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes.

Billie: "But no, in all seriousness. I didn't think about my feelings, let alone come to terms with them. Ever since you told me on tour that I could talk to you about them. Like I knew I could talk to you, but I felt like you wouldn't listen because I knew I wouldn't listen. But you listened, you listened so attentively. When I was talking to him, it all hit me at once. That you- you saved me. I don't think it seemed like it was bad at all. But like it was really bad, I'm way too good at hiding my feelings, but I haven't hidden my feelings since tour and it feels amazing."

Maddie: "I am so happy that you feel like you can talk to me, you did such a good job at making me feel like I can talk to you. I wanted to return the favor, you deserve every once of happiness. I'm glad that you're getting the happiness you deserve. You've been glowing recently and I am so fucking proud of you."

I smiled at her and placed a kiss on her lips, this girl means so much to me and I couldn't be more grateful for her.

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man ive been waiting to write this chapter.

thanks ily

words: 1881.