𝗡𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 -𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚎 '𝙻𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚎' 𝙻𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

Chapter 8

Amy is asleep, covered in blankets. Jo is slumped down on the floor beside her. I am sitting on the chair in the corner of the room.
Marmee adjusts Amy's blanket, and then looking at Jo, decides to take a seat beside her, on the floor.
"She's asleep." Marmee informs.
"If she had died, it would've been my
fault." Jo blames herself.
"It wouldn't have been your fault. I told her to stay behind. She didn't. I saw her and I ignored her. It would have been me at fault." I insist.
"She will be fine, the doctor said he didn't even think she'd catch a cold." Marmee says to make us feel better.
"What is wrong with me? I've made so many resolutions and written sad notes and cried over my sins but it doesn't seem to help. When I get in a passion I get so savage, I could hurt anyone and enjoy it." Jo explains.
"You remind me of myself." Marmee tells Jo.
      I stay silent. I don't even want to talk about my problems.
"But you're never angry." Jo says.
"I'm angry nearly every day of my life." Marmee relates.
"You are?" Jo asks.
"I'm not patient by nature, but with
nearly forty years of effort I have learned to not let it get the better of me." Marmee explains.
Jo makes her own resolution,"I'll do the same, then."
Marmee touches Jo's face,"I hope you'll do a great deal better than me. There are some natures too noble to curb, too lofty to bend."
The two women sit beside each other as Amy sleeps. Jo puts her head on Marmee's shoulder. I tuck my knees into my chest and watch Amy.
If I had my notebook, I would write in it.
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I find myself over in Dore's library. I can hear the faint sound of birds chirping outside the window. I look around at all the books.
Just like Jo said, I'm not gonna let the anger get the better of me.
I will dig myself into my passions. Reading is one of them so here i am. I look over at pride and prejudice. I read that back when I was still in school. Not that they let us.
I look over at the book, The Scarlett Letter. I've never read it but I know what it's about. A woman got pregnant. She thought her husband was dead.
She's forced to wear a scarlet letter, A. It's a punishment for adultery. Apparently, her husband was alive the whole time.
Say thanks to Jo for spoiling that one for me. I saw a book near it that said 'Scarlet Fever'. I picked it up.
Maybe it has something to do about drama. Like one lover got it and died tragically.
I flipped through it for awhile. As soon as I opened the book, my guess was wrong. It's a medical book.
But I didn't want to stop reading it. It interested me. I didn't want to put it down.
I eventually did but only to go find another medical book. 'The lectures of Scarlet Fever' I read the title.
My eyes skim the pages. This book is so delicate. Maybe a few years old. But ever so important.
         Treacherous beyond all other diseases, cases apparently the least violent, " scarcely de- serving the name of disease" in the earlier stages, not unfre quently develop lesions of the most formidable kind in their pro gress, and result in a fatal termination; while in others, a train of painful and disgusting sequela gradually exhaust the strength with long continued suffering, and entail consequences which remain-
       I hear someone clear their throat. It snaps me out of my daze. I look up in front of me. No one is there. I turn and look behind me.
        There's Dore with a bright smile on his face,"what are you reading?"
         I smile, "nothing."
         He comes over to me and quickly takes the book from beside me.
        "Laurie!" I gasp and stand up.
        He reads the title while running around the room," Lectures on Scarlett Fever?"
        I take the book from his hand as he looks at me, confused,"why are you reading that?"
        "I don't know. I started reading a book about Scarlett Fever. I mistook it for something else. Anyways, I finished that book then got this one. I'm really interested in it." I tell him.
          "Since when did you get so boring?" He asks me.
          "Since you started hanging out with Jo instead of me." I shrug.
       He looks at me, taken back. I hear the birds stop chirping outside the window.
        "Lyn. I didn't even realize-" Teddy starts.
        I hold up my hand," It's okay. I didn't expect you too. I think it's time I leave."
        I start to walk away.
       "Marilyn!" I hear Laurie call out.
        "Yes Teddy?" I yell over my shoulder.
         I keep walking down the hallway. Almost to the door.
      "Are you mad at me?" He hollers back.
       "Maybe." I say looking back at him and closing the door to his house.
        I sigh with a smile. I am mad at him but he still makes me content.
        "Come on, Marilyn." I whisper to myself.
         I laugh and run the rest of the way home.
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        "Jo!" I whisper.
          She moans, turning in bed,"what?"
          "You're not gonna give up writing, right?" I ask her.
           That's what she said she was going to do when Amy burned our books.
          "No. I was over exaggerating." She tells me, looking up at the ceiling.
        "That's good. We should have one writer in the family." I tell her.
        "What do you mean?" She asks me.
        "You know how you tell me I would be a good housewife, or writer, or painter, or anything really?" I ask her.
         She nods and I sigh, "I think I know what I wanna be."
         She almost jumps up before I grab her,"shhhhh!"
        She quiets down, "what is it?"
         "I wanna become a nurse or even a doctor." I  tell Jo, excitedly.
       She squeals quietly,"that's amazing. But it's hard."
        I smile,"I know it's difficult but I'm ready. Florence nightingale has the most brilliant ideas about nursing. I hope to meet with her when we go traveling."
         "Well I support you, no matter what." Jo hugs me.
        "Don't tell anyone. You're the only one that knows." I whisper.
        "Not even Laurie?"
        "Not even Laurie." I sigh. "I don't want Aunt March to find out."
       "Ahh yes. You have to keep being her favorite." Chuckles Jo.
       I laugh,"shut up and go to sleep."
        "Okay mom." Jo says sarcastically.
      I turn on my side away from Jo. My smile doesn't leave until I fall asleep.
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