eight songs, one meaning

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he is inside the studio that is situated in his room. he asked his dad for this as music is his only escape from this tragic reality of his life. his comfort space is his studio where he records his songs for mashiho and where he writes songs.

his dad said that he got this talent from his mother. sadly, he never got a chance to meet her. she died after giving birth to him.

he is currently recording a song to give to mashiho when his half-brother entered the studio, holding a piece of paper. he ignored it at first but after hearing what his half-brother said, he knew the paper is important.

"seems like our boy here is in a one sided love..."

"soojun-hyung, please, just give me the paper."

the older faked a sad face, "how tragic. your crush doesn't love you back, my dear brother. we already told you, didn't we? a guy like mashiho won't love someone like you. you're a mess and insane."

he knows it. he knows mashiho will never love him.

"you had your hopes way too high, idiot." soojun laughed mockingly. "your cousins really fed your delusions huh?"

he did not utter a word, but instead he tried to take the paper from his half-brother's grip.

"not so fast, kim junkyu." soojun uttered as he put the paper away from the younger's grip.

yes. it's junkyu.

"hyung-"

"how funny that you've been hanging out with mashiho a lot. no one's making fun of you now... but you fail to make him fall for you. you know why? because your whole existence is just a joke, you're just a product of dad's mistake. don't think too high of yourself, junkyu. no one's gonna ever love you." before going out of junkyu's room, soojun teared the paper into the smallest pieces and scattered it on the floor.

the door slammed as it closed, leaving junkyu staring at nowhere.

maybe soojun is right.
falling in love with someone who will never love you back, is both a tragedy and insanity.

he is a product of mistake, who will love him?

no one wants to commit a mistake, no one wants to love a mess like him.

ever since the day he moved in this mansion, he never had a peaceful day, he never had a peaceful life. a life without words to stab straight to his heart. a life without feeling the stinging pain of the slaps he receives from his dad's wife.

he just gets strength from his cousins, jihoon and jieun. his friends, yedam and jaehyuk. and from his dad and mashiho. those people are the only reasons that junkyu has to keep going and live. if it wasn't for them, he would be already gone.

___

junkyu remembered the talk he had with jihoon when he couldn't find a chance to put the 5th song in mashiho's locker as they've together too often.

"how's your day?" jihoon asked as he entered junkyu's room.

they're allowed to go into this mansion because mr. kim said so. that left his wife and his son with no choice but to just let jihoon and his twin jieun go and visit junkyu.

"it's fine, maybe?" junkyu answered, shrugging as he is busy arranging a song to be sent for mashiho, "he looks disappointed when he did not receive a song again." he then turned to see his cousin's face as he waits for a suggestion.

but jihoon only raised a brow, "it's as if i can do something about it?" he put his forefinger on his chin and gave junkyu a knowing look. "well..."

already understanding the meaning behind that look, junkyu immediately replied, "hah, no. i won't reveal myself."

"why not?"

"there's no need of it anymore." junkyu reasoned.

knowing how hard-headed junkyu is, jihoon just rolled his eyes "i'll go home now."

"take care, jihoon-ah."

there's now really no need of revealing himself knowing that mashiho is now going to be happy with someone else- someone who is not him.