Understanding (Neville Longbottom)

17

Neville's pov

I looked one last time behind me, Jocelyn was staring through the little window incased in the door.
I turned around.
I couldn't even look at her.

I closed my eyes and appareted on the front steps of my house.
Just like that.
The air was different. It wasn't the same air Josie was breathing. She was already gone.
I put her in a corner of my mind and opened the door.

I threw my bag to the ground and walked on in the big room opening in front of me, my hands in my pockets; I felt something poke my skin so I stopped and took it out, it was a Chocolate Cauldron wrapping.

"Neville!" my grandma's voice came from upstairs, I heard her run towards me and a second later she came into view.

She gripped the metal railing of the second floor stairs and looked down at me "Oh, for Merlin's beard! What took you so long?"

"I'm sorry" I put the wrapper away "I took a friend home first. I wanted to make sure she was ok"

The hard look on her face softened as she guessed something was wrong
"What happened?"

She came down the stairs as I recalled what had happened on the train; all the emotions that had hit me like a ton of bricks, seemed to disappear. The only thing that felt real was the little paper ball I was squeezing in my hand

"This is outrageous! Oh, I bet it's to make Xenophilius shut up... the Quibbler is the only piece of parchment that still tells the truth, if you can believe it"

"I can"

My grandma looked at me again. She caressed my cheek with a small, warm hand "Go take a bath, dear" she murmured "I'll see you at dinner"

I did as she said; I filled the bathtub with warm water and sank in and even though I tried to take my mind off of Luna, I couldn't.

How could I go on without her?
What was happening to her right then? Were they torturing her?
They would be keeping her alive if my grandma was correct.

It was all my fault.
I could feel it, I knew it was true.
It was a truth coming from deep within me and it was undeniable.
I hadn't paid enough attention to her lately. That was that.
She was my entire world and now... What was going on with me?

I touched the wrapper I had took out of my pants pocket and put on the small table next to the bathtub; Jocelyn's face presented itself to me.
I let it go and sunk deeper in the water.
It was my fault. It was all my fault.

After getting dressed, I went downstairs and sat at the table next to grandma; I listened as she fussed over how much my clothes had become short in just a couple of months

"Who was your friend?" she asked while cutting her meat "The one you took home"

"Jocelyn Vance"

She stopped with her fork in the air
"Is she a relative of Oberon Vance?"

"His niece" I nodded "I met him. He has a lot of respect for you"

My grandmother's pleased expression was almost comical
"That wizard is one of the best our world has ever seen... he was a great friend of Dumbledore's, you know"

"I didn't"

"Well, of course he retired many years ago after his brother and sister in law died in an accident in those cursed muggle carriages. I knew he was taking care of his niece, but I thought se was much younger than you"

"She's in my year" I confirmed "Ravenclaw"

"She took after Oberon then" she nodded, satisfied "Her father was in Hufflepuff, if I remember correctly. A good wizard... he was skilled in potions" she stopped for a few bites before asking again
"Is she as good a wand as her uncle?"