The Real Gladers

One

The Real Gladers

THIRD PERSON

Thomas had made a decision. He was going to tell him. Tell Newt, and shuck the consequences.

But what if it ruined their whole relationship? Friends was better than nothing, right? And what if word got out? No one would be comfortable near him ever again.

Enough with the what-ifs. Thomas was going to do it. Tonight. He knew where Newt usually slept, he knew where he'd be. He just didn't know what to say.

So that was what he was practicing now, ways to say it, while pacing the ground near the Doors at the back; his private spot.

"Hey Newt, there's the thing. I kinda, I mean, I've sort of-" he stopped, and sighed in frustration, running his fingers through his short hair. "Um, Newt? I have something I need to-"

Eventually he settled on one that would do, causal, but serious enough that Newt would know he wasn't joking, which would be disastrous.

He headed back up to the center of the Glade, ready to catch up with Minho to grab some lunch.

******

THOMAS'S POV

I felt like total shuck, but I knew it couldn't wait any longer.

It was quite late, late enough for the Doors to be closed. I was headed up to where I knew Newt hung out a lot; a spare barn house no one used anymore, just behind where Winston killed all his animals. It was private enough to not get overheard.

Sure enough, when I arrived at the barn, I could see Newt sitting atop some spare straw, swinging his feet and apparently lost in thought.

"Hey," I said, kicking open the door. Newt's head snapped up, apparently surprised.

"Hey Tommy," he replied. My heart was beating like crazy.

"Listen, Newt," I began, putting my hands in my pockets to hide the shaking. "I gotta tell you something." He looked at me for a long moment, with those penetrating eyes.

"This is important, isn't it?" he asked, and I nodded, taking a few steps towards him. I swallowed. My carefully planned out speech was going out the window.

"I should probably have told you earlier," I was beginning to regret my choice, but it was too late to go back on it now. "But you have to promise you won't freak out."

"I won't," he regarded me carefully. "I promise." He then jumped down from his hay bale, and leaned back against it. His poise, so familiar, made me force down a smile.

"The thing... The thing is..," I trailed off. What if I couldn't say it? I'd look like a fool.

"I won't laugh, Tommy," Newt grinned his crooked grin. "'Cept if you've been sleeping with Minho; then we'll be have words."

I forced a laughed. This was a bad idea.

"I love you," I blurted. Newt simply stood there his hands dropped to his sides. It was the blank look of complete disbelief that hurt the most.

"I- Never mind, I should go..," And with that, I turned and headed for the door as fast as I could without running. What the shuck had I done? Why did I have to go and mess everything single thing up, I did not know. I was seething inside, so angry with my self that it took all I had to refrain from screaming.

I started back down the path, my walk slowly turning into a jog in my haste to get away. But I heard footsteps coming from behind me, and I felt Newt's hand on my arm.

"Newt, listen, forget what I just- What I said back there," I stumbled. "It doesn't matter, anyway, lets-"

"Shut up," he muttered.

"What?" I asked, bemused.

"I said, shut up!" He replied, a little forceful.

And then his lips were soft on mine. It wasn't a slow kiss by any means, but it was as passion charged as any. It was hard to keep my mouth closed; I just wanted him. All of him. And not in, that, way, just him, his shaggy hair, his oversized jeans, his limp and the way he chewed his bottom lip when listening. Just him.

But I forced myself to pull away.

"Newt," I began. "Do you? I mean, do you, y'know-"

"That?" He questioned. "Yes. Yes, I suppose I do."

"Say it."

"What?"

"Say it or I won't know for sure, and this will all have been a dream."

"Tommy-"

"Newt."

"Okay. Okay," he steadied himself. "Tommy, I- I-

"Whats wrong?" I asked, hesitant of his answer. He hung his head.

"I can't do it," he said in a small voice. "I'm sorry, Tommy, I do, but I just can't say it."

"Why not?" I asked, steeling myself for an answer I didn't want to hear.

"I'm just... Well, scared, I guess," he finished lamely.

"Scared? God, Newt, how can you be scared?"

"It's- It's like," he gestured with his hands. "It's like a shucking weakness." He finished in a rush. That made me angry. Really angry. I'd just bared my soul, told him I loved him, despite the risks, and even though he was safe in the knowledge that I would say it back, he couldn't tell me?

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "Just not yet." He leaned in for another kiss, but I pushed him away.

"Well why don't you come and tell me when then, then Newt?" I started to walk away. "I'll be waiting."

The look on his face was nearly enough to make me turn back, but instead, I walked away, unsure of how I should feel.

Obviously grateful that he did feel what I did; but disappointed that he was unable to say it. I weighed up the pros and cons as I walked back up to the Glade.

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A/N: Hey guys, please tell me what you think of this, I'm playing with the idea of having a long running novella type fic, so I think this is it. Critism is greatly appriciated. Of course, chapters will be longer and better in future.