Hey guys so it's maddie again and we hit 3k !
I'm beyond happy right now !!
I texted the girls and they never responded so I decided to write again!! lol
So I'm just gunna express my love for writing and other things.
Oh and if yall are new to our book we are 5 girls who have a ton of things wrong in life that we just have to deal with it and we are obsessed with 5sos.
So I love writing. Writing is an outlet for my shitty world. I had a pretty crappy day today. And I just needed to get away. So I listen to 5sos and one direction.
Oh and i love one direction and I can talk about them for forever but let's not 😂
I needed to just get away. And these days have been accruing a lot lately. So I like to write or read. That probably makes me sound like a nerd but I'm not 😂 I just like to read and write.
I'm just gunna write about me so you get to know about me okay? If that's alright.
Well my names maddie and I'm 14 and I'm a freshman. I'm kinda depressed I mean I have panic attacks frequently . The only person that really know is my best friend. She know everything. And I tell her everything..
I'm a bigger girl if that makes sense. I mean I'm just bigger I've got big boobs and a big ass and curves. I hate it, I hate my body I mean I get bullied for it so that kinda sucks.
My day consists of going to hell. (School)
Trying not to eat. I'm staring to eat less bc maybe the bullying will stop. So I only eat at home.
I wear tons of black and that's it. My parents hate it but it's not going to change.
Im suicidal but I haven't thought about suicide in a while just about cutting. And I actually don't know anyone who know that except you guys and now the girls,
I owe the losers so much. They keep my sane.
I've tried cutting but I always just chicken out and I hate myself for it.
I am just a lost soul. Confused in this world. Confused in which direction to go.
I look at myself in the mirror and only see a fat human being with no purpose of being alive and I hide my depression good bc my parents/family don't know.
I love one direction and 5sos. They get my threw my shitty life. And the loser get my threw all my road blocks I go threw. But when people ask me why I like them I just tell them they make me happy but it's way bigger than that I just don't want they to know I'm depressed you know.
So this was sad. But I still have happy things in life. Reading and writing and music make me Escape and I love it. I like designing things too. And I am so excited for Christmas 24 days !! I'm going to Mexico for 2 weeks for Christmas and I'm going to be on an airplane on Christmas Day great 😂 it's not just all sad I swear 😂
And I'm currently Listening to voodo doll.
Well if this made you not like me im sorry. We'll have a great day and thank you so much for 3k !!
I love you all :))
