One Month

21. I don't care

"Are you sure you really want this to happen?" He asks me in all seriousness looking straight into my eyes with an intense gaze.

"Yes." Is all I say maitaining a weak yet unyielding eye contact with him seeing him briefly process the situation. I even thought I saw some controversy in his thoughts for a moment there before he pulls me closer and kisses me deeply to which a immediately respond.

I push him to lie on his back on the bed and remove my shorts and panties as quickly as I can before climbing on top of him. He stares up at me as I take him in hand and lower myself around him hearing him curse under his breath and bite his lower lip as I start to move in a pace that makes me feel as good as I wished all this time. His hands find their way on my thighs that he grabs pulling me onto him. I pick up my pace, moaning slightly the process, and place my hands on the bed on the sides of his head finding the support to move with greater ease.

"Fuck." I mutter as I feel pleasure course through me and close my eyes centering all my attention to it. I feel him pull me onto him and stop my movements right before he rolls us over where I find myself on my back beneath him. I open my eyes to see him grab a condom from his nightstand and tear the package with his teeth before putting it on with quick movements.

He towers over me and locks his gaze at mine before he begins to move inside me licking his lower lip briefly when he picks up the pace. I shut my eyes once again as I start to feel the room slightly spinning and my head heavy. He buries his face in my neck kissing several spots on my skin while his arms hook beneath my knees and bring them at the height of my chest. My arms spread across his back occasonally scratching him as he thrusts harder inside me and moans against my neck.

"Fuck, Vic." He mutters nearly breathless right before he comes.

He takes a moment and lifts himself off me panting, then removing the condom and tossing it on the floor before coming right back to me kissing me. Almost immediately he starts lowering himself on my body getting further down, leaving a trail of wet kisses until he reaches the spot.

He gives me a quick glance before running his tongue over my clit making my breathing heavier instantly. His hands take ahold of my thighs as he continues to kiss and lick my area making me moan and pull his hair. My eyes roll back into my head as he finds just the right pace and my back arches instantly as he keeps up his movements until I come as well.

I'm left panting as he kisses the inner part on my thigh before bringing himself on my eye level gently kissing my lips. I kiss him back ignoring the burning sensation in my eyes. I'm crying. Shit.

The lump in my throat doesn't subside as I finally give into my emotions. This time it's about Aaron. I just gave in. I gave into him. He frowns as he realises what I'm doing and moves his head backwards to take a good look at my face.

"Are you crying?"he says and lifts himself off me giving me space.

I remain as I am and continue to sob uncontrolably. My tears have already blurred my already messed up vision and I am starting to feel them run down the sides of my cheeks.

"Fuck." He mutters and brings himself beside me.

I feel his arms wrap around me pulling me closer to him.

"What's wrong?" He asks with a calm voice and if I wasn't high as hell I could probably confidently say it was with genuine concern.

I can't help but slightly laugh feeling dumber than ever. How embarrassing that I am crying in front of him. Or at least it would be if I'd come to my senses, I'm sure of it.

"I'm sorry." I say as I wipe my tears slowly although more are streaming down already.

"What do y-"

"I wanted this for a long time. I know you don't give a shit and this probably meant nothing to you but I needed it." I speak not realising I am sharing too much. I really don't give a single fuck how he thinks of me anymore.

"Vic-"

"I just wish it didn't feel so shitty afterwards." I add not acknowledging that he has something to say.

His arms shift around me and tighten his embrace keeping me glued on his torso. The warmth of his body comforts me even though it's the very thing I feel exposed to.

"I care." He says after a short pause with a low but steady voice. I can't be sure I heard correctly, I hardly remember what I said a moment ago.

"Right." I sneer and wipe the last of my tears off my face. At least I've finally started to calm down. At this point it's pointless for me to keep talking, I am barely keeping myself awake as it is.

"I'm sorry. About everyhting." He says as I slide myself into a better position to face him.

"What is everyhting?" I ask unsure of what I even mean. I'm actually unsure of what he means let alone what I was supposed to ask.

"What I've done to you and how I treated you. I can't even remember what I was thinking. The truth is all I've been wanting for the past 3 years is to be where I am now with you." He says making eye contact yet I have the feeling he has trouble saying the words.

I can't take it seriously. I don't even know if he's being serious. I laugh weakly thinking I am definitely high enough to hear bullshit like this.

"You're funny." I say and lie my head on his chest picking up the sound of his heartbeat. It's putting me to sleep, no doubt. "I need water." I say as I hear him take a deep breath. I think he was about to say something.

"I'll get you some." He says and kisses me on the forehead before gently letting go of me and getting off the bed.

My eyes begin to close and my surroundings are now a big black blur. In a moment's notice I've forgotten all about the water.