Our Future (BILLIE EILISH)

- E l e v e n -

Milo and I walked in together, Milo is such a chill dog. She's affectionate of course. But like if it's just her and I chilling, she'll do her own thing. She sleeps a lot, like I aspire to be her.

I was sitting at the island looking at the calendar, I like everything where it is. So I think I'mma leave it there, Kenzie is on my ass about opportunities I got before tour. But I don't even think I'm the same person I was when I left, so I don't even think I wanna do those anymore.

I told her I was down to a majority of those things when I left, but I don't want to do them anymore. Because before I left for tour, it was the same thing every day and I just hated it. But now there's actually some variety, and I love it.

Billie low-key plans my career and she doesn't even know it, I based my whole career around her tour, now I'm basing it around the list that she made.

I wanted to call Finneas before Billie got over there though.

Calling Finneas😁:

Finneas: "Maddie!"

Maddie: "Is Billie there yet?"

Finneas: "Nope."

Maddie: "Good, I was wondering if you would help me with her birthday present."

Finneas: "I would love to, what is it?"

Maddie: "I have an extra room in my house, and I was wondering if you would help build a studio because I have no clue what one would look like and need."

Finneas: "I would love to help."

Maddie: "I'mma tell you this now, I'm not forcing her to like record here. I have it to where I can work from your house and I want to be where you guys could work from here, because I know recording at your house is like a special thing for you and her."

Finneas: "I already knew that was your mindset, what's the date?"

Maddie: "Um today's the 13th."

Finneas: "I could have it done by the 17th. What time does Billie get back?"

Maddie: "She said 5, but I'mma take her out so you have more time. I'll pay for everything of course."

Finneas: "You guys are so cute."

Maddie: "I know."

Finneas: "What did you name your dog?"

Maddie: "Milo."

Finneas: "You didn't."

Maddie: "But I did."

Finneas: "You're so good to her."

Maddie: "I try my hardest, I have a meeting though. I'll see you later."

Finneas: "I'll send Claudia over to get your credit card."

Maddie: "Okay, thank you."

Finneas: "Don't mention it Mad's."

Call Ended.

I locked my phone and waited for Kenzie to show up, at this point I was sitting on the couch with Milo. I know I've been happy, and I know that I have never felt this before, I think about it all the time.

I feel like I'm changing, I don't know if I'm changing in a good way. I love being happy, I do, but I catch myself doing things that I would never do three months ago.

I'm starting become too vulnerable, like don't get me wrong, I was vulnerable with Billie before but now it's like I rely on her for everything. I was never this vulnerable with anybody, and I thought that I could never bounce back from what Nicole did to me. Looking at it from someone else's perspective, I have no clue how the hell I bounced back.