redamancy (a sequel) // c.b

i. explosions

"why wouldn't he be?" harlow replied defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. "he's my boyfriend, of course, he's going."

katrina's features softened at harlow's defensive tone. "harls, i didn't mean it like that."

harlow couldn't help but be on the defensive though, especially because she knew that her friends were poking in hopes of getting her to talk about the elephant in the room.

harlow scoffed, "well then how did you mean it?"

"i mean, both of them-"

"i get it. my ex-boyfriend will be there. my current boyfriend will be there. that doesn't mean anything, though. y'know, i'm not the only one who's gonna be seeing an ex at this thing. why aren't we interrogating devyn about going and seeing corey? bet you it'll be awkward as hell knowing he doesn't want you back no matter how many times you try." harlow retorted, though as soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted it.

devyn's face became unreadable as she forcefully placed her fork onto the table. "at least i can say my ex's name without having a full-blown tantrum. fuck, i can have a conversation with him in person. don't criticize me until you get your own shit together," without missing a beat, devyn stood up to leave. "i hope for elton's sake you can at least say colby's name out loud by saturday, harley. this isn't about you and your issues."

harlow couldn't get her body to move to stop her friend, let alone words through her mouth to apologize. all she could do was watch devyn storm out with her jaw slack and guilt building in her chest. about a minute later she finally tore her eyes away from the spot where devyn was standing to look at katrina.

katrina had a sorry look on her face, making harlow feel even worse about the mini-explosion.

"kat-"

"just wait," kat started, placing her half-empty glass on the table, "i love you, but that was uncalled for. devyn didn't deserve that. do you think if she had a choice in who she loved and when she loved them, that she'd still be in love with him? she isn't willingly signing up for heartbreak, harls."

"but-"

"not done yet," kat interjected. "we only ask about colby because you never said anything to us about the breakup. everything we know, we know from colby. we're just trying to understand what the fuck happened and how we can help you, but you won't let us in. it's been a year, don't you think it's time you finally open up?"

there were so many thoughts swarming in harlow's mind to the point where she was sure her facial expression was entirely blank simply because she didn't know what to think or feel.

after a moment of silence and a long drink of water, harlow spoke up, "it doesn't matter what happened. it's over, i'm over it, and i'm very much in love with carter."

katrina nodded along, "that was never in the question, babe. but you know, it is possible to love two-"

"i don't."

katrina raised an eyebrow at her friend's remark. "but-"

"no, kat. i'm trying to be respectful because i love you, but no. i don't love him. i only love carter."

katrina looked like she wanted to push further, but eventually sighed in defeat, "alright."

the topic of elton's engagement party was dropped, and the two girls chatted about pointless things until they parted ways thirty minutes later.

harlow had a raging headache the entire ride back to her apartment after lunch with her friends. kat's almost-comment about being in love with two people remained at the forefront of her brain, her other thoughts drowning out by the simple idea.

harlow had never so much as considered that she could be in love with both boys. she couldn't be in love with colby, she wouldn't allow herself to feel that way about him. how would that be fair to carter? she loved carter, and she was so sure of that.

but then why was katrina not sure? what was harlow doing that made kat think that she would still be in love with colby after all this time? if anything, she thought her behaviour when he was mentioned would make her seem as though she hated him. or at least strongly disliked him.

but love? no fucking way.

then again, why else would harlow be silently crying on her drive back home? if she wasn't still in love with colby, she likely wouldn't have turned the sound up as her music library shuffled to river by umi. and she sure as hell wouldn't have let out a strangled sob when she heard, "know we're different people, but i don't know why you let me go" if she wasn't still in love with that stupid, blue-eyed boy.

THOUGHTS

well, this took longer than
expected, but here is the first
official chapter of this sequel!
i hope you enjoy it - if so,
please comment and vote.

i hope you're all staying safe!
wash your hands lots!

- d