FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

Why do you like looking at stars so much?

"There is no reason, I always thought you would never want to hear from me again and recently it's been eating away at me again." He sighed. "I've been thinking about it a lot and I just needed to get this off my chest."

"Well thank you for telling me, now what?" I asked. He smiled at me.

"What's going on in your life?" He leaned forward onto his elbows, resting his chin on his hands.

"Not a whole lot, I work for a music label and my flatmate is a moderately famous musician." I shrugged.

"Who's your roommate?" He asked.

"Matty Healy from The 1975." I mumbled, unsure of if he'd even know who that was.

"Really? How did that even happen?" He asked with an amused look on his face.

"Well I work for his label, I needed a new place to stay and he has a spare room so it all kinda clicked into place. He's a good friend of mine." I shrugged, it wasn't that big of a deal to me.

"I'm glad that you're doing well though, truly I am." He smiled at me. I felt that slight pang of happiness to see him in front of me again. Don't be a fucking idiot, Alyssa.

"Me too." I smiled back.

-

Matty

Two things I've learned over the past month since Alyssa and I kissed. The first thing is she somehow, after all the bullshit she was put through with her ex, ended up with him again and for some reason, it bothered me to no end but I couldn't let her know that. Which brings me to the second thing that I've learned. I have come to the unreasonable realization that I do in fact, have extremely strong feelings for that girl.

And as much as I tried to pretend I don't, I just can't deny it anymore. The saddest part though is she doesn't feel the same way about me. She went back to Mason, the second he gave her another look she was in his arms again. Which to be honest, broke me a little.

I knew the day she came back from seeing him that she would go back to him. I could just tell from the look on her face and the way she spoke about their morning in the cafe that she was reeled back in. I didn't trust it though, I didn't trust him.

He spent too much time coming over to see her, travelling up from Brighton and spending the night. I couldn't refuse it because then she would know something was up with me and the very last thing I want is for my feelings to be known. Especially now that she's back with the man that broke her heart, there didn't need to be anymore confusion in her life.

So I sat there, I smiled at the stories and laughed along at the goofy things she would tell me about their sickening relationship being rekindled. It was hard but what else am I supposed to do? I couldn't let her know the truth.

It broke me every single time I would see them together. I felt like a part of me was being ripped away from me and I had to learn how to live without it. In such a short space of time knowing this women, she'd made herself at home in my heart. What a fucking tragedy for me to deal with. This is what happens when you fall in love with the idea of people. I'm not in love with her, it's not that deep... yet.

I was sat at the breakfast bar, eating my cereal and contemplating what to do with my day when she walked out of her room. Her hair was slightly messy and she was clad in only his t-shirt. Her bare legs exposed, I had to stop myself from staring at her because it would only lead to an awkward conversation of why the fuck I was looking at her.

"Morning." She beamed at me, walking past me and over to the coffee machine. She leaned up to get a cup off the top shelf, her shirt riding up as she did. I could see her underwear poking out from under the shirt and I let out a groan of frustration. How could I get over these stupid feelings while she's walking around looking this fucking good? "What's wrong with you?"