Moving to Hell

Don't think of leaving

Mother's making her famous pancakes, while father's making orange juice. There's a tension hanging in the room which we all can feel clear. Johnny and I secretly exchange glances. 'Mom, dad?' I ask then. 'Hmm?' Mother answers, although she doesn't really pay attention to me and neither does father. 'Johnny and I've been thinking...' I slowly start. Father turns around. 'As in- together?' He asks surprised. Johnny sighs and rolls his eyes. 'Can we get past that already, please?' 'Sorry, continue, honey,' father says smiling. I swallow. 'As I said, Johnny and I've been thinking and we're not sure it's a good idea if we stay here.' Mother suddenly stops baking the pancakes and turns around as well. She doesn't look amused. 'I knew you guys would start that eventually,' she says disappointed. Johnny and I look at each other. Neither of us responds. 'I know for teenagers like the two of you this town may not be ideal, but can't you for once think of your parents?' Mother asks begging. 'Believe me, mom, we're thinking of that,' Johnny says serious. Father raises his eyebrows. 'Can't you see how happy your mother and I are now we're here? And to be honest, I don't get why you're so desperate to leave this place!' Neither Johnny nor I know an answer to that. 'Because I miss Lulu!' I say then. 'This place barely has serves and I can't stand the fact that I haven't seen her in such a long time!' My voice skipped a note. Johnny looks with sympathy at me. He knows I didn't lie. I really miss Lulu. If mother and father hadn't been here right now, he would've hugged me, to comfort me. Mother sighs. 'Sweetie,' she says, 'I understand you miss her, she's your best friend, but that isn't a reason for us to move back again.' 'Exactly,' father nods, 'and besides, Lulu's the one who wanted us to move her in the first place.' I frown, but don't have time to think about that right now. 'Maybe that alone isn't enough for us to move back, but what if I told you this place is dangerous?' Johnny asks. 'I would laugh in your face,' father says. Mother punches him. 'Because it's ridiculous, son,' father adds then, 'I can assure you that there's absolutely nothing to worry about.' 'Yeah, except that the ceiling could fall on our heads any moment because this house is so old and fragile,' Johnny adds. Both father and mother ignore his comment. 'Do any of you want some pancakes?' mother asks sweet. I shake my head. 'Not hungry,' I say. Disappointed I stand up from my seat and walk out of the dining room.

School has been even more scary since the events that happened there. I tried remaining calm, but that wasn't easy. Valentino holds my hand under our tables, without saying anything. For now that helps me to survive the day. By the time we have our break, I'm completely lost in my own thoughts. 'What's going on with you today? You seem so far away,' Valentino notices. I force a smile. 'It's nothing,' I say. 'What happened to "no secrets between us", huh?' I sigh deeply. 'Sorry,' I say, 'it's just that I don't even understand it myself yet.' Valentino grabs my hand. 'Maybe I can help you understand it...' he whispers. I smile and nod softly. 'Before I moved here, in the town I used to live, I had a best friend,' I tell. 'Her name was Lulu.' 'And you miss her?' Valentino asks. I nod. 'Only... Only she doesn't seem to miss me. It's almost like... she wanted me gone, or something.' I've never told this to anyone before, not even Johnny. It's a thought I have for a long time now. I swallow. 'And you want to know why she wanted you gone?' Valentino asks. I nod. 'At least I want to know if I did something wrong.' Valentino moves closer to me. I can feel his breath in my neck. 'You can't do things wrong, Jackie,' he whispers. I close my eyes and smile. Valentino lays his arm around my neck. I sigh. 'I feel like I'm loosing everyone.' 'Not everyone,' Valentino says, 'you have me. You'll always have me.'

I got home later than usual. After school, Valentino and I stayed for a little while. 'I'm home!' I shout. I know Johnny's already home. Still I don't get a respond. 'Johnny, I'm home!' I yell again. He doesn't answer. Frowning I walk into the living room. I see a shadow standing hanging over the kitchen table. I look closer and see it's my brother. I sigh relieved. He doesn't look very happy. I walk over to him. 'Johnny?' I softly ask. He finally hears me. He turns around. His eyes are red, which means he had cried. 'Are- are you okay?' I ask. 'Take a good look at me and ask the question again,' Johnny says blunt. 'Sorry.' Johnny sighs. 'It's okay.' 'What's wrong?' I ask then. It takes a while before Johnny answers that. 'Mom and dad died...' he softly says, without looking at me. My eyes turn big. 'What?' 'They're dead, sis. Gone. I bet you know that wasn't just "an accident". Nothing here is just an accident. We need to leave.' I can barely hear him. My ears are ringing. 'Jackie?' Johnny asks then. I don't respond. I'm in shock. Johnny looks worried at me. He softly shakes me. 'Jackie?' I just stare in front of me. I can't believe mother and father are really gone and the last memory I have of them is Johnny and I fighting with them. Why are they dead? Was Johnny and I begging them to leave a trigger for the town to murder them? I've got so many questions. 'Jackie,' Johnny shakes me harder this time. I hear his voice from afar. I see him blurry standing in front of me. 'Jacklyn!' Johnny shouts. Finally, I come out of my trance. I blink heavily with my eyes. Weird enough I'm not crying. 'Was it our fault, Johnny?' I softly whisper. I don't look at him. I hear him sighing. 'We didn't kill them, Jackie. The town did, like they tried to do with us.' That answer doesn't comfort me. It only gives me more unanswered questions. 'But why so all of a sudden?' I ask. Johnny knows what I mean with that question and that's why he doesn't answer. 'Haven't you thought that maybe we-' 'Stop,' Johnny says softly. 'Just... stop already, please. Don't make yourself feel guilty about this, it isn't going to help.' I just stare at him. My stomach contracts. I can't stand on my legs anymore and fall onto the ground. Suddenly I start crying. Johnny rushes over to me and comes sit next to me, arm around my neck, comforting me. I place my head on his shoulder and for once he didn't complain and let me be.

We'd been sitting there for nearly an hour straight. Then I didn't have any tears left, and Johnny and I stood up. 'What do we do now?' I ask. I feel empty, and I probably sound that way as well. My mouth's dry. 'We go,' Johnny says strict. 'What?' Johnny forces something that should've been a smile, but unfortunately doesn't really look like it. 'We're leaving town.' It's the logic thing to do and the thought of finally leaving this place, made me so happy that my heart started beating faster. 'I'll call Valentino,' I say. Johnny scoffs. 'Still not giving up on the guy, are you?' He asks. I shake my head. 'He isn't evil, Johnny,' I explain. Johnny rolls his eyes. 'Yeah, whatever.' I want to walk to the phone, but Johnny stops me. 'What are you going to do?' He asks. 'Calling Valentino, like I said before.' Johnny stares at me like I'm crazy. 'Why are you going to call him?' I'm not sure if I should answer that question because it'll probably make my brother mad at me again. Maybe he's even going to yell at me. I hate it when he does that and knows it. But he doesn't care. 'If we're going to leave town, he needs to come with us!' I say. My brother is not amused by that. 'We're not taking him with us, Jackie,' he says as calm as he can. 'Why not?' I ask aggrieved. Johnny scoffs. 'Isn't it oblivious? He cannot be trusted!' I roll my eyes and cross my arms. 'How do you know that?' 'He lives in this town!' Johnny makes wild gestures with his hands. 'Yeah, well, we live here as well, don't we?' I go against him. 'That's different!' 'How's that-' 'For the love of God, Jackie, can you please stop being so stubborn and listen to me this one time?' He wasn't mad at me, and he wasn't shouting. He was simply asking. I sigh deeply. 'Fine. Let's go.' I still didn't want to leave Valentino behind, but something about my brother's behaviour made me listen to him, once, without arguing or questioning him.

The gates of the town aren't far away from our house. It's a 10 minutes walk. We don't take much stuff with us. We have one bag for the two of us, which mostly contains clothes and pictures of the family. It's dark outside, and I wonder what time it is. I feel restless. On our whole road to the gates, we didn't say a thing. Just when I was about to ask Johnny how much further it was, I saw the gates standing in front of us. They look like bars. Just when we're about to walk over to the gates, I stop. 'Wait,' I say. I'm suddenly starting to feel insecure about this. Johnny sighs annoyed. 'What?' He asks. I lick my lips and look at the gates. 'What happens if we can't open them?' Johnny thinks of that for a moment. 'Don't be stupid, Jackie, of course we can open the gates.' He wasn't really convinced of his answer, but neither of us wanted to think of it again and so we walked over to the gates. Johnny pulls and pushes. He rattles at the gate, but none of it works. They won't open. I swallow. My fear just came true. 'Johnny?' I ask a little scared. He still pulls the gate with all his weight and therefore doesn't pay attention to me. 'Johnny,' I say again, harder this time. He grunts. Still the gates don't show a sign of opening. 'Johnny!' I shout now. He finally turns around to me. I'm out of breath. 'It won't open...' I say softly. I said what Johnny deep down already now, although he didn't want to admit it. He looks at the gates without saying anything. He tries getting a catch of his breath. 'That means we're trapped,' Johnny says with a hallow voice.