One Night Stand - Coming Soon -

1.

I never thought I'd find myself so helplessly broken over a man. But here I am, cheeks stained with tears, smeared mascara from crying and a snotty nose to top it all off. When I met Garret four years ago we instantly clicked. We were what felt like a match made in heaven, possibly picked out by God himself because that's just how perfect we were together. I actually believed we would end up at the alter, I'd pop out a few kids and we'd live happily ever after, but that was so far from the actuality of our relationship.

He decided our fate the night he went behind my back. A supposed weekend at his sisters to celebrate her birthday resulted in the most heartbreaking night of my life. I made a surprised visit only to find him and a girl named Stephanie shacking up on the couch. To say I was devastated, was an understatement. I remember going home, rage running through my veins as I entered our apartment ready to destroy everything he owned, but something shifted inside of me after smashing a photo of us cuddling on the couch. I knew I wouldn't get the satisfaction that I really wanted, so instead, I packed my things and left the same night and never looked back.

It's been three weeks since that night and I still replay the image in my head of them together, the hurt still seems fresh, simply because it is. I didn't realize how dependent emotionally I was on him until' I moved out. Thankfully my best friend Erin was kind enough to let me crash on her couch until I can get an apartment of my own. Despite the fact that she was there every night with me I still felt extremely lonely. After three years of sleeping next to the person you assumed that you would meet at the alter, planned a life together with, built what felt like a fairy-tale world and then watching it all collapse before your eyes was shocking to say the least. He threw my world for a loop, a loop into a very dark self sabotage state where I mentally blamed myself.

What if we never had that fight? The one that ended in us sleeping in separate rooms. We went to bed mad that night after we promised to never allow ourselves to do that. What if I had done more for him? Maybe I shouldn't have nagged him so harshly over his inability to put his clothes in the hamper. What if maybe this was all my fault because I didn't love him enough. Maybe I didn't show him love.

These thoughts circled my brain for the first week. I forced myself into a dark place with all my 'what if's'. I finished three bottles of wine that week along side a a bottle of Fireball. I thought maybe I could drown my thoughts, wash them away with liquor and wine. I was wrong, very, very wrong. All I managed to do was make myself so sick I missed two days of work.

I feel a tear trickle down my cheek again. The all too familiar sensation of the lukewarm droplet racing to the bottom of my cheek, along my jawline. I wipe the water away and I reach over to the coffee table and grab the tin container in a shape of a heart that's filled with chocolate. I look over the options on the back before deciding on the orange flavored filled dark chocolate square.

I unlock my phone, the Face ID immediately recognizing my facial features. I swipe through my apps before hovering my finger on an all too familiar one. "Tinder" opens and I'm greeted with new matches. Most of which I would never date, but maybe that was my problem. Maybe I should be looking for the opposite of what I would date because to be completely honest, I don't want or need to date right now. I want someone that can make me laugh and actually orgasm. Yes, Garret and I's sex life lacked a lot to be desired at times. He was a quick to finish and I took a little longer to get there and I think it put a strain on our relationship when he couldn't give me the type of pleasure that I was craving.

So now as I'm swiping left on most of the men I decide for my best interest, I might as well just say 'screw it' and listen to my lady bits. And boy let me tell you, they aren't wanting a 'bring me flowers and come meet my parents type of guy.' No, no Melanie wants someone to rock her world. The kind of guy everybody says not to bring home to meet the parents.