I've never had the opportunity to grow up around positivity
There isn't a moment I can recall where I've been told "It's okay if you fail"
All my life it's been "don't worry about it, you'll be fine" or "you're super smart, you'll do great"
That bothers me.
I was never given nor granted the opportunity to grow up KNOWING that it's okay if I fail- that I'm still loved if I fail
My parents say they've never put a lot of pressure on me, which I believed to be true
They'd roll their eyes as I cried, scared half to death that I wouldn't meet their invisible standard they weren't even aware they had
"You're too hard on yourself" they would say and then proceed to tell me to calm down
My perfectionism is a growth. A nasty irrefutable growth.
I'm scared beyond my wits at what life has in store for me
"I see you doing great things" they tell me as if that alleviates the invisible standard and immense stress
What I have to share on the matter is as important as you choose to make it.
Failure is okay. Failing doesn't make you a disappointment. Failing is a natural experience in life.
That's the epiphany I've had this evening.
Failing is a scary thing, it's how you deal with it after it's happened that matters.
So go out in the world not afraid to take risks! Fail a million times and a billion more! Just remember to get back up a swingin' and show 'em who's boss!
