i still do || n.h au

nine

But Niall should know by now that Oscar and Matt aren't just his close friends. They aren't just his team members. They're his brothers, as corny as that sounds. And given how long they've known each other, he should be able to open up to them without being coaxed to do so, though to give Niall some credits, there are occasions when he would open up without being asked. So he's not exactly closed off but still. Both Oscar and Matt can tell something is bothering him and he's decided to carry the burden on his own -- classic Niall.

"Really, it's nothing." Niall says again even though he has a feeling he won't get away with it. Not when his friends look determined to get the real answer from him.

He's here to escape his disconcerting thoughts but it seems like he'll have to confront them instead.

So when Oscar and Matt shoot him a pointed look, he lets out a sigh, takes off his baseball cap and runs his fingers through his hair before he puts the cap back on. He glances over his shoulder and when he's sure that Tom isn't going to return to their table anytime soon, he starts telling his friends what happened between him and Adriana a few nights ago. Then because it feels good to be able to talk about this, he ends up telling them all about his uncertain feelings for both Astrid and Adriana, though he makes sure not to divulge too much.

When he finishes talking, it's quiet between the three of them. Niall feels his cheeks heating up, embarrassed that he pretty much has just laid himself bare.

"Damn," Oscar says finally, breaking the silence between them.

Niall turns to Matt and waits for his response.

Matt shrugs. "No wonder you've been extra quiet," he points out. That's something coming from Matt who's the quietest between the three of them.

"And no wonder Adriana's not joining us tonight," Oscar adds. Niall looks at him, frowning. "I asked her if she'd like to join us but she said she's busy. When has she ever been busy to hang out with us?"

Niall lets out a groan and runs a hand down his face. Apart from the confusion, now he has to deal with guilt too.

"Maybe she is busy," Matt interjects. Niall shoots him a weak smile at his attempt to salvage the situation.

Niall sighs. "Well I understand it if she needs the distance."

"Look, you can't control your feelings," Matt says, his words resonating with Niall. If there's anything he learns in the last few days is that as hard as you try, if your heart is set on something, it's hard to go against it. Classic the heart wants it wants situation. "No one can and you certainly can't control Adriana's feelings. If she needs time to process it then give her that."

"Yeah, finding out the person you like has feelings for someone else is... well, it's not easy." Oscar chimes in. "She'll come 'round. Right now, you need to think about whether you want to do something about your feelings for Astrid or not."

"What's there to do?" Niall asks.

"Something you should've done years ago." Matt offers a reply. Oscar nods, agreeing. Those two don't agree on a lot of things and it's not often that they're on the same page but it seems like they are on this. "Tell her how you feel."

///

Niall can't sleep.

Matt and Oscar's words are ringing in his ears even though several hours have passed since they were spoken. He drank, he ate and he drank some more after the talk he had with his friends (Tom surprisingly did not forget their drink but instead of buying the first round, he ended up buying for the second round because Oscar got bored of waiting for him so he went ahead and got them the first round himself) and by the time he left the pub, he was so sure that he had forgotten all about the talk.