Naruto - Eternal Bible Study

nardo

Ichiraku collapsed from stress. Naruto stood in position, still shocked yet intrigued. Nishiraku met eyes with the innocent boy, but the child shied away. There was a silence. Ichiraku was completely out of it, and couldn't break in to break Naruto out. Nishiraku decided to finally break the atmosphere. Could it be... you're interested in trying some out, boy?". Naruto slowly nodded. "Hmm. Here, take this. I assume you're a beginner, so you should start off easy" Nishiraku calmly advised. Naruto took the blunt and attempted to recall Sasuke's elite movements. Put it to the mouth, breath in. Remove the blunt, breath out. Nishiraku smirked as he watched the little greenhorn's eyes open wide in sync with the smoke. "No. Way." He felt the effects immediately.

Naruto felt a surge of power course through him, and tapped into it. He went through the hand signs, and... "Stoner Clone Jutsu!" Naruto shouted. Dozens of clones appeared, all stepping on the (also) dozens of unconscious students. Choji, still secretly conscious and waiting to get his edibles, watched in awe; "W-wow... he can really hit it". "I-Ichiraku-sensei! I did it! I can do it after all!" Naruto exclaimed. "How can such an unfit weedhorn harness so much drip? It's unbelievable; amazing!" Choji admired. Ichiraku winced as he tried to get up. "D-damn it. I wanted to keep him clean... But, he's so good. A crackhead prodigy. I can't help but be
proud". Ichiraku gave a faint smile of approval, before slipping into a very good nap topped with dreams of young women who were very good at initiating. "I see, very great potential in this young boy. Good job Ichiraku, my son." said an admiring Nishiraku. Too bad though, Ichiraku would have loved to hear this and it would have instilled years of confidence; but Ichiraku was too busy dreaming of crack whores and being the bottom.
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"FINALLY YOU CUNTS ARE GONE!" unsuspecting kids fell out of their chairs. The stoners were barely affected, and the perfect Sasuke was simply unphased. "Ah, my bad~ did I say that out loud?!" hissed the academy teacher, Iruka Umino. "Iruka... don't worry, we understand. We all need our morning blunt sometimes, and you clearly haven't had yours" Sasuke said in a low tons, attempting to soothe. "A blunt?! What the hell is wrong with you? You need a strict talking to, you orphans get off way too easily! Talking to you, Naruto the Infamous Cunt." "Hey, don't bring that furry into it, looking at him is sad enough. Don't act all high and mighty Iruka, just take the weed." "If it were legal I, and I assume many others, would have killed you already!" The 2 went back and forth. After awhile, Iruka caved in. He went quiet and smoked a few packs quietly in the corner

Naruto, pissed at the injustice, decided it was his time to fight back. "On JAH. Why does everyone keep calling me a furry?! I've never even touched any animal!". ''Little bitch, are you trying to defy my authority?" Sasuke glared. They stared each other down, until Joey from Yu-gi-oh shouted "Free for all!". Joey then proceeded to whip out the legendary kunai with chain. "BDSM KYAAAAA!" Useless bitch and the throwaway crew screamed out in glee. Joey smirked as he impaled Naruto, and the throwaway crew's yaoi fantasies went wild. "Joey. That's my bitch! Fire blunt jutsu!" Sasuke shouted out. "Kekekeke... you really think you can stand up to my kunai with chain? I'll have you know I graduated from Pocket Monster Academy at the top of my class, triumphing over even the likes of Yugi and Yami. I have 5 master degrees, 3 black belts in different martial arts, and an IQ of 312. I don't recommend trying it!" Joey confidently ranted. "Hey you all, don't forget about me! I'll pounce and wounce :3 all over you!" Naruto suddenly declared. The 3 traded blows. Naruto kept using his stoner clones and was on the verge of death; Sasuke's lungs were about to implode from the intake of smoke, but his Uchiha stoner blood barely managed to circulate oxygen; Meanwhile Joey, effortlessly deflected all of their blows using his kunai and chain—how he could pull that off? I leave to your imagination.

"You guys are quite good... for your age that is! You couldn't stand up to me and my kunai and chain unless you trained for 1000 more years!" Lectured the blond and sober spiritual master. Naruto finally collapsed with "Welp, ima head out now". Naruto! You Cunt! I can't defeat this nuclear tank alone!" Sasuke thought, panicking. "Well, well, well!" I can't wait for the Joey x Sasuke fanfics to come out! Of course, I'm the top!" Joey jabbed at Sasuke. "You can just shut your mouth! Sharingan!" Sasuke lashed out as he gave into the bait. Sharingan, the ultimate ocular jutsu of the Uchiha clan. Only achievable when the pigment of a Uchiha's eyes becomes at least 20% red from cracking under the stress of being high. "You use the power of the stone to reach a new high, it's pathetic. You sacrifice your health for a power trip, when you could train and live for as long as the humble me. Humanity is foolish, I will whip you into shape. Forbidden Moses: Sexual Assault!" Joey shouted, intending to conclude the battle. "What the hell?! I can't copy that, that thing is gonna destroy even beyond the whole village!" Sasuke panicked.

Joey released his hot, pink ball of sex, utterly destroying Naruto and Sasuke in the process. Joey then takes their blunts, and lays out the ashes over them. "Balla, Balabaska, Balabaskaism!" Joey chanted. The elite and greenhorn stoner were both resurrected. "You both be good boys now. Ah yes, I forgot to introduce myself! As you know, I am Joey from Yugioh, now sensei of Sasuke, Nardo, and Killua" Joey finally greeted. "W-what the hell... W-who the hell is Killua?" Sasuke stammered. Joey scanned the room for a boy matching the picture he had in his hand. "Hm, I guess he's not here today, huh? You'll meet him soon enough I'd guess. For now, I'm dragging you two out on a mission, no questions asked. Actually I'll just gag you, I don't want your undisciplined manner to reach me" Joey proceeded to rant again, leaving no room to interject. He vibe checked them both, and began carrying their unconscious bodies to the Nardo bridge.