Creator (book 3) - H.S

Chapter 4: Beside You.

"I thought you were in a rush... Are you going to drive or not?" She speaks monotone, staring in front of her, and I press my lips together in defeat, sighing out a heavy breath. I drive out of the garage and through the gates, getting on the road and going towards the hospital, knowing that there's a huge chance we could be seen out, but not caring.

I keep looking over to her, and I wish I knew what was going through her mind at this moment. I know she's thinking the worst, she thinks she's already lost the child, and I understand why she's so hopeless but I wish she wouldn't be...

"El you can spot early on in your pregnancy... this is normal, I did some research, and-" I try to ease her thoughts, but she's not having it.

"That wasn't spotting... You saw the blood, you saw how much there was...After all that time, I told you to not get your hopes up, I told you to get your head out of the fucking clouds, and face the reality of this, and I was the one who was fucking dreaming..." She yells now, and I take a deep breath.

"Then we'll try again El! Whatever happens, whatever they tell us when we get here I will be right beside you, I will be right here. There's not a fucking thing that doctor could tell me that would make me lose hope in this, or us. I love you to the ends of the earth, and that is not going to stop whether you lost the child or not." I don't want to be angry, I don't want to raise my voice at her, but it's so hard sometimes when nothing gets through to her.

"Can you stop yelling at me!" She bursts, and turns herself towards the car window still keeping her arms crossed. I pull into the parking spot, and lock the doors, which forces her to turn to me. "Let me out of the car Harry." She looks at me with sharp eyes, and I stand my ground.

"Not until you stop with this, and you tell me-" I start, and she snaps.

"Do not fucking say 'We'll be alright.' Because right now I don't fucking feel alright, and I don't want to pretend I am for your benefit Harry, I'm not okay right now, and I'm not prepared to go into this hospital and have them tell me that I wasn't good enough to hold onto this child, that my body killed it." She breaks down, and I hold her face, reaching forward, wiping her tears.

"No baby... no... You don't have to say we'll be alright, I just need you to say that you'll let me help you.. Let me be here for you darling... Whatever this is, we're going to fix it. We always fix everything." I soften my voice, and she closes her eyes, the pain prominent on her face.

"We can't fix this, we can't fix it this time, and I don't want to hear them say it. I haven't even heard their heartbeat, I haven't even seen them in my stomach hardly, I-I..." She starts mumbling, her brian taking over.

"You don't know what they're going to say..." I remind her, and she shakes her head.

"Harry..." She softens.

"No El... You have no idea what they're going to say... Hold onto the hope, for me please... If anything for me..." I beg her... "I'm right by your side, all we have to do is go in..." I remind her, and she nods despite her obvious fear. We both get out of the car, and she pulls the sweatshirt she wears forward, making her bump almost unrecognizable, and I take her hand, walking with her into the freezing hospital.

We walk up to the front desk, telling them what's going on, and they type away, getting everything ready, and within the next twenty minutes we are brought back. The whole time we sat there she was shaking, she was petrified but she stayed silent, and all I could do was hold her hand, drag my thumb across the soft skin, and try to comfort her the best I could, keeping my nerves under control.

The doctors come to her, and they ask her questions, and they take some blood from her, and then they set up for an ultrasound. This is the first time I've ever been present for one, and she seems like she's used to it.