You Should Leave, Baby → ZUWOON

chapter six

Seokwoo takes that as his opportunity to leave, sighing as he walks upstairs. He pauses in front of his door, hearing someone moving around inside. Cautiously, he pushes open the door, making eye contact with a panicked Juho, whose expression changes dramatically when he sees the other.

"Seokwoo!"

"Juho..."

Seokwoo swallows thickly, averting his gaze. He'd felt guilty, oddly enough, when Jackson had invited him back to his hotel room. Juho approaches him and grabs his hand, eyes dropping with worry.

"I need to talk to you about Jackson."

Seokwoo's pulse screams in his ears at the contact, and he wraps his own fingers hesitantly around the other's. "What's there to talk about?"

He knows. Juho must see it in his eyes when he brings up the other's name; the way his eyes dim with something almost like lust at the slight mention of Jackson's name. He's acutely, painfully aware of every minuscule twitch in the other's demeanor, exposing his true thoughts if only for a moment. "I knew him." Why would Juho be affected by him and Jackson? Seokwoo doesn't want to think of any excuse- he couldn't find feelings for Juho. He would only end up hurt.

"Ex?" Seokwoo sits on the edge of his bed, pulling off his shoes. "He's your ex, right?"

"Best friend," Juho corrects, sitting next to him. He connects their hands again, insistently, desperate for the other's attention. "I was dating his best friend."

They stay silent for a moment, Seokwoo hesitantly hooking his pinky around Juho's. "So..."

"I don't want to start anything," Juho begins, closing his eyes as if bringing this up pains him. His hair is a mess, and there's dark circles under his eyes. Seokwoo worries that he didn't sleep the night before, and a pang of fear in his chest comes when he wonders if that was because Juho was waiting for him to come back. "But I think..." He bites his lip, looking to the ceiling. "I think he might be using you to get me and my ex back into contact."

Seokwoo sets his jaw, trying to find any way to stop himself from feeling any sort of interest in the other. "You're reaching, now."

"No," Juho insists, turning worriedly to the other. "I'm not."

"Bullshit," Seokwoo shakes his head, forcing himself to try and start an argument. There was something about falling in love that had begun to scare him, and the fact that being with Jackson brought up the concern 'what about Juho' terrifies him. He refused to find feelings for the older. "My manager's willing to renew my contract if I go with him. You said you hated actors before, are you just trying to damage my career further?"

Juho turns to look at him sternly. Seokwoo can tell he's holding back, that he's really trying not to add fuel to an already dwindling fire. He pulls out his phone, opening Twitter. He opts to not answer Seokwoo's weak accusation. "If you don't believe me, then I'll show you."

JACKSON WANG (@jacksonwang)
ugh playing cupid...
JACKSON WANG (@jacksonwang)
yugyeom & making me do his dirty work : a thread
------JACKSON WANG (@jacksonwang)
[IN RESPONSE TO @YUGYEOM] maybe if you didn't pull this shit your soul wouldn't be on satan's wishlist
[IN RESPONSE TO @YUGYEOM] oh i know this mistake isn't talking to me
[IN RESPONSE TO @YUGYEOM] ya'll hear sumn?
JACKSON WANG (@jacksonwang)
gotta run to the store this broke ass motherfucker really didn't buy any fucking crackers for me he KNOWS i love crackers what a fucking dick i can't believe this
------JACKSON WANG (@jacksonwang)
[IN RESPONSE TO @YUGYEOM] oh, yeah? fuck you too pal.

"You were dating Yugyeom!?"

"Yes..? Didn't I tell you that?"

"You never gave me a name!" Seokwoo snatches the phone from Juho, scrolling through the tweets slowly. "What does this last one have to do with anything, though?"

Juho shrugs. "I don't know, him and Yugyeom were together when Jackson called you."

"So... They think we're friends or something?"

Juho takes the phone back, pulling up another account. "Or something," he answers, scrolling down until he turns the display back to Seokwoo. "Jaeyoon's been talking."

MR. THANG (@lovebugjae)
OMG walked in on Juho & Mr. KIM ROWOON cuddling what the fuck goes ON
MR. THANG (@lovebugjae)
@DAWON @Kimseong petition to stop Taeyang and Kyun from kissing in front of Chanhee. That boy is Five.
------MR. THANG (@lovebugjae)
[IN RESPONSE TO @eternihwi] No, fuck YOU, buddy.
MR. THANG (@lovebugjae)
Can Juwoon (Juho/Rowoon) just become a thing already so my mentions can stop being flooded by twelve year olds asking me if their faves are dating this is getting ridiculous
MR. THANG (@lovebugjae)
@PRODJUHO start vlogging again I need some more Seokwoo content since his future in acting and modelling just swan dove into the shitter

Seokwoo blinks, pushing the phone back towards Juho. "Well, that's fun."

"Jackson's using you, Seok'."

"Yes," Seokwoo nods, "I'm very aware of that now."

Sighing in frustration, Seokwoo lays back on the bed. "Why can't things ever be easy for me!?"

Juho lays back next to him, frowning. "This sucks, I'm sorry. You can still shoot with him, just don't let Yugyeom get involved-"

"No?" Seokwoo cuts him off, turning to look at him. "Why would I want to be friends with the people who hurt you?"

Drawing his eyebrows down, Juho's lips part with words he can't say. He stares in shock at Seokwoo, disbelief written across his face. "Turning him down will kill your career, Seokwoo."

He can't take it. He grabs Juho's hand, looking away. "I don't care. It's wrong, and my contract's terminated with my manager anyway." Seokwoo laughs, watching the ceiling. "I have enough to get by for a while; maybe I'll go into singing when this all dies down." He shrugs. "I don't want to help my career by hurting you. Because we both know if I keep working with Jackson, Yugyeom will just so happen to get involved just so he can get back to you, right?"

Silently, Juho squeezes Seokwoo's hand. "You don't have to do this for me."

"I do." Because I like you. "I'll call Jackson tomorrow morning."

"Start vlogging," Juho grins, turning towards the brunette. "I'll help you get started."

Seokwoo glances at the other, smirking. "I have an idea that could really piss off your ex."

He's selfish. He's so fucking selfish and desperate, that when Juho widens his eyes excitedly and begs him to tell him what his plan was, his heart lurches. Let's fake date. He wants to feel the other's hands in his constantly, hear his laugh, even maybe kiss him. But he couldn't love him. If they were to fake, he would never have to admit to Juho and, frankly, to himself, that there was something beneath his actions.

He doesn't know why he can't bring himself to tell Juho how he feels, because what with how Juho's acting, he doesn't doubt that he might feel the same way. But something in Seokwoo is terrified of giving in, and he doesn't want to hurt himself any more than he has been.

"Let's fake date."