"I Love You"

"Love is hard."
Over and over again and again,
A broken record stuck on replay,
An almost religious belief in society today.
But no;
Loving is easy.
Love comes in an instant.
Love comes without warning,
Without thought.
Love comes before you even know its there.

You see, the love
Is the butterflies when you want someone close,
The urge to protect those you care for,
Or even just thoughts that linger ever slightly too long,
Those are impulsive, and the essence of love.
The hard part comes from preparing...
To watch,
To hear,
Feel,
All of the things that you personally cannot heal.
I love you.
But I wasn't ready,
Wasn't ready for all the tears that I couldn't prevent

The hard part,
The one that nothing can prepare you for
Is seeing the people you love hurt,
And no,
It's not just the pain that they feel.
It goes two ways.
It's the hurt that they have,
And the hurt that they give
When I realized I loved you
I wasn't ready for what that meant;
For the part that hurts.

The times of shivering and shaking,
The sight of clear blue eyes now strained and red,
Of the same blue eyes now clouded and wet,
Or hearing I'm fine behind labored breaths.
There are wounds too harsh for time to mend.
They twist the heart, the soul and darken their ends.
The wounds may close but scars remain forever.
Reminders of times of pain.
Acting as locks to the prisons of our own making,
Trapping within us in the pains of the past.
With walls made of one way mirrors,
Seeing out is easy but seeing in is quite the feet.
Against all of this trauma I just couldn't compete.

I tried to heal your broken,
And ended in defeat.
Causing the pain I tried to relieve,
making more scars.
But for more than just you...
Also for me.
The love is still there.
Not even fleeting.
Love is the easy part, remember?
Now...
The hard part,
Is trying to go on -
Without you.