Unpredictable

Chapter Five

Amelia

When I get home and hide my baby back where she belongs I smile to myself, i feel sad at the same time knowing that I won't have the free will I enjoy so much when I marry. I'll have to find ways to continue my pass time as well as keeping my identity secret, I may have proved in my own sick way to my fiancé not to mess with me but he must never know who I really am. The biggest scam I've ever pulled off is my secret life but I know that my best act will be pretending to be in a happy marriage, to live yet another life. As I walk into the place I grew up I can't help thinking about how I don't think I even know who I really am anymore, I've lived this façade so long that I don't recognise the reflection in my mirror anymore. I know this is the safest way to live to know no one, to love no one means I have nothing to lose. I don't fear death I never have because partly sometimes I think no one will be damaged by the death of a foot soldier and because I'm already living hell on this earth. Once I reach my room I head straight for the bathroom, stripping down and jumping into the burning water of the shower and begin my nightly ritual. I can't help wishing I'd lived a normal life sometime, wishing that I didn't have to look down at the scares on my body and remember each detail of how they came about. I long to be a normal woman who walks the streets in daylight smiling alongside her beautiful husband and children but I know that life just isn't for me. I was born into the world I live in for a reason, I believe that entirely otherwise it would mean that everything I've done is pointless and it can't be. I've done the same amount of good as I have bad, which makes the burden of killing easier for me even with my non existing conscious which also helps. I see the blood of tonight's kill drips from my skin, onto the floor of the shower and swirls down the drain. It entrances me how such a beautiful colour comes from our bodies, how the essence of our lives can be so easily drained from us. Even with the many times I've been close to death I still believe it's the most beautiful experience; to be dancing between two worlds is the best euphoria, the best high a person could feel. But it makes me wonder what it'd feel like to never come back from that. For now, wondering is all I can do as I know it's not yet my turn to die. For now, my mind will be set on how to get through the next two days of my life.

I step out of the shower and dry myself off before putting on a loose t-shirt and slipping into my bed, closing my eyes and welcoming well needed sleep. I know that I will have to face the hordes of fake and deceitful guests that have come to celebrate my forced engagement with smiles and pleasantries. The only piece I seem to get is when I sleep and even then my head is evaded with the nightmares of my past, demons that I have spent a lifetime burring are brought to life the moment sleep succumbs my body. I see the faces of the women who have gone missing, I see the bodies of the millions I've killed and I see the death of my family. I watch the destruction of the people I love scene by scene; the laughter in the back of the car, the love I see in my mother's eyes as me and my brother argue and then the man laughing as he totals our car. I watch as the man steps out of his car, shoots my mother in the head then checks me and my brother I play dead the entire time. When he leaves I stand and walk away never looking back. This is what drives me to kill, my father told me who was behind the whole thing that a rogue Abruzzo started the Deserta and it was them behind the death of my family. As I begin to fall asleep I pray that life will get better but I know there will be no one to answer my passing plea.

I was enjoying my deep sleep until I wake to the face of a very angry Romero, the old guy kind of Romero. "For god sake! What the hell do you think you're doing!" here we go I think to myself, he's shouting already and it's only seven o'clock in the morning. "sleeping" I state sitting up and pulling my hair out of my face as he stands towering over me, "you know that's not what I'm talking about!" he grinds out and he's right I know exactly what he's talking about. "Who spilled" I bet it was that big mouth hunter, he must be absolutely distraught over his murdered lover, I roll my eyes at my own sarcastic thought. "I had Hunter at the door demanding to know the identity of Corvo di Morti! I told you no more shit like this you no longer act as the enforcer of this family!" he's red in the face when he's done yelling, a smile begins to pull at my lips as I've never enjoyed watching him get so flustered. I'm not going to tell him exactly why I did what I did because it's futile, he doesn't care why I do it all he cares about is packing me off and never having to deal with me again. Tonight will be the last night I spend in this house and I'm not giving up my life quietly and he knew I'd never do as I was told so here we are. It's my engagement party tonight I will stop at nothing to make his life hell for one last night, as he stands over me waiting for my reply I begin to plan my devious destruction. I shrug my shoulders at him and he knows he'll get nothing else out of me so he turns on his heels and stomps out of my room causing me to laugh at his childish demeanor.