FORGIVING [tomioka giyuu]

ten

His heart nearly pauses, and he wants to deny it.

Gyomei stands silently, his tall form prominent and almost surprises Giyuu. He hadn't seen the Stone Hashira until Uzui turned to the other man with a slight concern, as if the flamboyant man didn't know what to do.

Uzui's eyes burn into his body once again when he looks back down, hands unknowingly gripping onto the bed sheets with shaky strength.

"I... I-I d..didn.." his lips tremble, cracking voice and hesitance within his body language.

It should be obvious, he didn't know what to tell them.

He didn't mean to eat more medicine after throwing it up, he didn't mean to pass out and stay asleep half of the week. He's not suicidal enough to want to actually die, and he knew that one spoonful of the medicine was enough: but it just wouldn't help and then suddenly two spoonfuls wasn't enough and then he kept vomiting it back up and it just wouldn't helpitwasn'tenoughandhejustwasn'tgettingbetter—

"Has it gotten worse?" Uzui's expression looked contemplative, trying to find the answer to the million questions that was probably swirling around his head. "The hallucinations..?"

Giyuu feels a hand press against the top of his head, warm and comfy as he let small tears dissolve into the rough sheets. Gyomei's palm is hot, and despite being calloused with hard work and devotion, it's still welcoming and causes the rupture in Giyuu's fingers. The patient uniform sleeves brush against his palms as he fiddled with it, nervous and without the comfort of his mismatched haori.

Uzui comes closer, and presses himself against Giyuu's shoulder with his bicep, leaning in as a physical comfort. The man has to sit beside Giyuu just to do this, but it helps his conscious try to gather itself.

The comfort makes the Water Hashira shake, body shivering with the sudden touches. It feels like Tsutako is just beside him, running her delicate hands through his hair and holding him close.

Maybe like Sabito patting his head in a proud praise, or Makomo's warm hand rubbing his shoulders in sympathy.

Surprisingly Giyuu doesn't cry at the memory, instead he holds the blankets against his hot face and tries to regain the strength to speak properly.

Gyomei finally speaks, offering comfort towards him, "It's alright Tomioka-san if you wouldn't like to speak about it, I'm sure it must be a sensitive topic—"

The sudden head shaking from the blanket shield cuts Gyomei off, Giyuu's red-rimmed eyes darting from his flamboyant friend to the Stone Hashira.

"I wan-nna talk about it.." Giyuu's voice slightly cracks and the men before him seem to wince at the sudden low octaves. "T-though it probably.. won't make sense.."

"I know it won't, but Gyomei and I will understand!" Uzui hums, not very convincing but the older man nods his head.

"Should I get Shinobu-san?" Giyuu feels like the dread is immediately visible on his face, because Uzui looks at the older man with an unsure expression. "I feel like this is medical information that she should know about, considering that it is the main root of your incident."

Giyuu wonders, only for a few seconds though.

This is his own fault, it always is. He knew what Aoi told him, he knew what he would be getting into if he ate more than one spoon of the medicine, he knew that the concern from passerby's was obvious.

Eyes carved with bags, throat dry, and sweaty hands clenching blanket sheets.

"Y-you, you ca-can get her.." Uzui's head turns back to Giyuu, looking rather soft for someone that smiled at the thought of his 'sexy blades'. "B-but again.. I don't think I'll m-make sense.."

The water surrounds him when Uzui gets up from his side, senses numbed when Uzui's silver hair disappears from behind the door.

It's then that Giyuu lets it settle in, let the realization sink like a rock in a still lake.

He had nearly died, nearly killed himself because losing more than six hours was just too much for Giyuu.

The Water Hashira had endured broken bones, million slices, rough training, near-deaths. Yet those were physical demons, demons that roam the land and targeted humans to feast and grow in power.

However Giyuu's demons were aggressive; choked him in his sleep, gifted him hallucinations of those who have long passed away, and cursed him with their voices.

And he fucking hated it.

The smell of wisteria intensifies, and there are now three figures in the room awaiting for his lips to let words escape. It's as if they had been waiting for him to speak; because Uzui is just were he was with the novel within his grasp, Gyomei stands with the scarlet beads braided into his fingers, and Shinobu smiles eerily with worn sheets of paper in her grasp.

"Hello Tomioka-san." She greets, empty purple eyes boring into his own with an underlying anger. "You look like you've slept well."

"I-I.. I did.." his Adam's apple bobs, "did not.."

"Ah.. why was that?"

Why didn't he sleep well? He had four whole days to wake up feeling better, hours stacked on hours just to feel more alive than he did in two weeks.

It starts slow, questions about his meals and personal relationships. How much does he go outside? How long as he been feeling like this? Is he okay? Is he okay? Is he okay? Is he okay?

Shinobu doesn't comment on when his eyes drift towards behind her, because a boy stands there watching him. Peach strands of hair and blood dribbling onto the floor, shattered sword and eyes glaring with the sun's light.

"Hurts.. head hurts." Giyuu murmurs, "choking, c-can't breathe.. eyes sting."

Pen scratches occupy the room, along with Shinobu's soft humming.

"And the medicine?"

There's a hand spreading touches against his chest, phantom brushes everywhere on his shivering body. Makomo's voice distorts more and more, and he struggles to speak without trying to gasp out words.

"The medicine," fingers focus in front of his eyes, a snapping motion as she tries to gain the Water Hashira's attention once again. "Tomioka, why did you eat that high of a dose for sleeping medication?"

He swallows saliva down a scratchy dry throat, trying to ignore the way it feels like he's swallowing strands of hair.

"B-because it just.. wasn't enough."