FRIENDS - BWS

13 | A Christmas Disaster

"Wait, is that a threat?", I ask with a laugh. What does she think? That she can just threaten me like this without me telling Brad about it? "Do you think I'm scared of you?" I continue as she turned around to face me. "You're even more stupid than you look. I've been in B's life for 16 years, and you've been around for what, six months? Who do you think he'll pick when you make him choose? But please, be my guest and try to ruin our friendship. We'll see how fast you get dumped"

She looks at me for a second, and has the exact opposite reaction to the one I was expecting; she smiles.

"Well, you see, I know stuff you probably don't want to be spread around, so if I were you, I wouldn't be so confident about that"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean", I answer, feeling like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. I feel sick at the thought of Brad telling her personal things about me. And I suddenly realize what she's referring to.

"Wouldn't it be unfortunate if Jay were to hear about how you have to fake it in bed?", she says, conforming what I was thinking, my heart sinking in my chest at the sound of her words. Brad told her. He told her the most intimate secret I have ever shared with him. I feel lost, betrayed, and more alone than ever before. I can feel the tears threatening to fall down my cheeks, but there's no way I'm gonna let that bitch have the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

"What do you think you're achieving by doing this?", I ask, swallowing down my tears. "You're gonna get dumped as soon as Brad hears about this"

"But that's the thing, he won't know about this conversation, 'cause that would mean your precious boyfriend will hear about your little secret", she answers and my entire world breaks down. Is this real or just a nightmare? No, it can't be happening. Brad did not betray our friendship for a dumb girl. No, he would never do that. He's my closest friend, my everything since we were eight. He would never tell my secrets to her. No, it's not happening. No. No. No.

"I win", Ashley says as she opens the door and makes her way downstairs, leaving me alone in the room. I stand there, unable to move. I have never felt that kind of pain before. The kind of pain that leaves you breathless, and so heartbroken you can physically feel your heart breaking into pieces. I don't know what's gonna happen, but right now, all I want is to leave and be as far away as possible from Ashley and Brad. It takes me a moment but I finally gather the courage to go downstairs in the dining room where everyone is waiting for me to start eating dessert. My eyes automatically go towards Ashley who has put her fake smile on again and is playing with Brad's hair. I can feel the stabbing in my heart at the sight of him. Him who made me believe I was the most important thing in his eyes. Clearly, I've always been a joke to him.

"I don't feel well", I say as I reach where Jay is sitting. "Can you take me home?", I add and he looks at me with a worried look.

"Are you okay?", he asks me as he stands up.

"Yeah, I just want to go home. Can we leave?", I ask with begging eyes. There's no way I'll stay a minute longer in the same room as B and Ashley.

"Is everything okay?", Brad asks from the other side of the table. I ignore him and go to the kitchen where mom is taking the apple pie out of the oven.

"I'm going home", I say, trying my best to hide what's going on. She turns to me and gives me the same worried look Jay gave me.

"Now?", she asks, putting the steaming hot pie down on the table. "But dessert's ready"

"I really don't feel well", I answer, feeling guilty to leave early on Christmas Day when she has put so much effort into making that day perfect. "I'll call you tomorrow", I add before placing a kiss on her cheek. I put my coat on and grab my bag before I go back to the dining room. I apologize to the Simpsons for having to leave early, and quickly walk towards the front door, closely followed by Jay.

"What's going on?", I hear as I open the door. "Why are you leaving?"

I turn my head to the side to face Brad, feeling more pieces of my heart fall apart.

"Why do you care?", I answer before leaving towards Jay's car.

"Em, wait!", he screams behind me as I close the car door. Jay joins me and we leave before Brad can catch up with us.

"What was that all about?", Jay asks as he drives us to my place. "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"Yeah, something like that", I answer, looking at the road through the window. Jay tries to get more information out of me but I remain silent. What am I supposed to tell him anyway? That Brad stabbed me in the back? That Ashley's blackmailing me? But that would mean telling him the very thing that started it all. The more I think about the situation I'm in, the more it all feels like a bad dream. A nightmare I'm going to wake up from, and everything will be back to normal as if nothing ever happened.

"Babe!", Jay exclaims to get my attention.

"Hmm?", I answer as I turned my head towards him, totally ignorant of what he said.

"Your phone's ringing", he repeats now that he has my attention. How did I not hear that? I think to myself as I grab my phone from the pocket of my coat. Incoming call from Brad. I send it to voicemail and put my phone back in my pocket. I have nothing to say to him. Actually, that's not true. I do. I have so many things I want to tell him, or more like yell at him. But I can't because once again, that would mean he'd know about Ashley's blackmail. And I know she'll go forward with her threats if I tell anything to Brad. I'm facing a wall. Whatever I decide to do, I'll end up losing. If I tell Brad about my conversation with Ashley, I'll lose Jay. But for her to keep her mouth shut and for me to keep Jay, I'll have to give up my friendship with Brad. But how good of a friendship is it anyway? A best friend doesn't go tell all your deepest secrets to random people. No, a best friend doesn't make fun of you like that. And so right now, the choice is pretty clear to me.