Saving Grace

Seventy Nine

It's been nearly a month, at least. The ship can't make it any farther, not unless Tony wants to die more quickly. They're adrift, waiting simply for someone to come along and rescue them. Nebula might wait for years; she doesn't need oxygen or food or water. She's a cyborg. She'll last for a while. But it'll get lonely when he's gone.

Because he will be. No matter how much he wants to get home, he won't. He's held out hope until the last, even though he's prepared for the worst. Well, it's the last last. And he's glad he prepared. Just a... few loose ends that need tying up. A final goodbye.

He sits in the cockpit, on the floor, the half-broken Iron Man helmet in front of him. He turns it on, and it flashes. He taps it as it scans him. "This thing on?" He starts with the easier thing of the two. Even though it's still hard. "Hey, Miss Potts. Pep," he says, sitting back, exhaling. "If you find this recording, don't post it on social media; it's gonna be a real tear-jerker. I don't know if you're ever going to see these. I don't even know if you're still..." He can't say it. "Gosh, I hope so... Today is day twenty one? — no, uh, twenty two." He takes a deep breath. "You know, if it wasn't for the existential terror of staring into a void of space, I'd say I'm feeling better today. The infection's run its course, thanks to the blue meanie back there. You'd love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic." He pauses for a while, trying to breathe. "Some fuel cells were cracked during battle, but we figured out a way to reverse the ion charge to buy ourselves about forty eight hours of time. But it's now dead in the water. We're a thousand light years from the nearest 7-11. Oxygen will run out tomorrow morning. And that'll be it.

"And Pep, I-I know I said no more surprises, but I gotta say, I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like... well, you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this. I mean, actually, just sorta grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt." His head is swimming, his stomach aches, his mouth his dry. "I should probably lie down for a minute, rest my eyes. Please know... that when I drift off, it'll be like every night lately. I'm fine — totally fine... I dream about you and Grace. Our family. Because it's always you two. Always..."

He takes a deep breath, continues. "And that was my smooth transition into my message for you, Grace... I'm sure you'll appreciate that, what with how much you read and stuff. How good your essays always were for school." He laughs quietly, weakly. "I still don't know why you would have me read them to see if they were any good. They always were... I couldn't do better." He takes another deep breath. "Anyway, I... I know you heard Pepper's message, so I don't need to explain what happened. You already know. But I don't recall saying that I love you in that message, so I'll say it now... I love you, sweetheart. Never forget that. Never. That's the one thing I ask of you. Break any of my other rules — even leave the compound, if you want, go out in the world; I won't be there to stop you. Just remember how much I love you.

"I am so proud of you and the person you've become. You have no idea how proud of you I am... You're gonna go far, sweetheart." He pauses again, for a long time, a nagging at the back of his mind. He's avoided it too long. "And, Grace, there's... there's one more thing. I hadn't mentioned it before, when I was just... logging what had happened, basically. I was hoping that I could tell you in person, because this is really something better said that way. But if I don't record it you'll never get to hear it at all, since I... well, you know. I mean, Cyberwoman in there heard the kid, I'm sure, but it's not her responsibility to remember. Or to tell you. He asked me to, and I told him I would. So here I am. Telling you. And rambling about it.

"Peter, he... well, he didn't... he..." How is supposed to say it? "... he didn't make it. And... when he was... when he didn't have much time left... he told me to tell you that he was sorry. He said, 'Tell her I'm sorry...' so I assume he means you. Who else could he mean? May?