Into the Land of Valentia

Chapter the Twenty-First

One of the fairies had a veritable mess of red curls atop her head. She had pale skin and a sharp nose. She giggled under Vivica's scrutiny. "You do not seem a killer to me."

The other fairy had straight, black hair that hung to her waist. "It is always the guilt," she said with a nod.

Vivica managed to get back to her feet. The fairies flew up to stay eye-level with her. "What is this place?" she demanded. "Why did you drag me down just to show me my past?"

The dark-haired fairy fluttered her wings in irritation. "I am in charge here, thank you very much. I ask the questions, if there are questions to be asked. Which, at the moment, there are not."

"Oh, Rull, let us just tell her. We have not been able to drag down a good one in ages!" The other fairy flitted around while she pleaded, making large eyes at her companion. The trails of her light green gossamer dress blew around in the breeze she created as she flew through the air.

"Do you not know anything about how to interrogate our victims?" Rull seemed to come to the understanding that the other fairy clearly didn't. She levelled Vivica with her eyes. "You looked upon your reflection in our lake. Did you not think you would be subject to the consequences?"

"I. . ." Vivica wasn't sure she had been thinking clearly when she made the decision to look into Mirror Lake. What she did know was that she didn't want to face what the lake might reveal about her. Yet in a sudden twist, she had chosen to let the fairies judge her, even though she had more than enough doubts that she would fail their test. A failure that would not only end her life, but put the entire quest in jeopardy.

Perhaps she simply wanted it to be over. The debating, the uncertainty. All the questions that had plagued her since she had begun the quest with Cayden. To have it all be decided by a third party was so much simpler than struggling with the choices herself.

The dark-haired fairy spoke again. "Many come to the lake wanting to receive the gift they hear we will bestow. They believe to have no dark self, that the only darkness that exists is the kind that comes from harming another. But they are wrong. The greatest darkness is the kind we ourselves have constructed. You carry the guilt of killing your brother, and the words of others that you are not responsible will not sway you. In turn, you create your own dark self. Do you see what I am saying?"

Vivica frowned. "That I'm not responsible. You're just trying to convince me, like all the others."

"Do you see why I do not like explaining things to our victims?" Rull complained. The other fairy merely shrugged. She turned to continue addressing Vivica. "You are responsible for your brother's death if you want to be. I care not for your troubles. Your darkest self comes from what you became after his death. What did you become, Vivica Strong?"

"Ha! You asked her a question!" The curly-haired fairy did a dance in mid-air.

"Be quiet, Lit," Rull complained.

The two fairies began to bicker, but Vivica had already distanced her mind from their conversation. What had she become? Before she was transported away from the forest, she had begun to think on the idea. James was winning his fight against the dragon when she shot her last arrow. Her aim had been true. But in a moment, the dragon had reared back and James' arm had been hit. 

She had thought she was helping. That was all she wanted to do, to help. Her parents were dead, and James was taking all the responsibility. But at the same time, she knew that she hated the idea of James being the one who had to protect her. She had always hated the idea of being helpless, of having someone else do all the work for her.

If she could have waited to become dragon slayer a bit longer, if she could have let James go on that slaying expedition by himself, might he have lived? He only ran into that dragon because she had drawn his attention to it. She had needed protection that day, and he had died saving her. But she knew that protecting her was the way he would have wanted to die.