Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 12

“My ex said I was too emotionally disconnected, and Brendan says I need to relax more,” Marc explained. “And otherwise, most people just think I’m grumpy or something. Or like I feel like I don’t know how to interact with Ariel, because I don’t want to be anything like my father in that relationship.”

“Understandable. But would you say you have a good relationship with Ariel?” she asked.

“Yes, I guess. She seems happy, aside from things with her mother and recently with her grandfather,” Marc explained. “And I’ve been making myself go out more with other people.” Brendan had started making him do it all though, and Marc had just kept going. Brendan was a whole other talk by itself that he wasn’t ready for yet, and he knew it.

“I think that’s good, and that’s something you should keep doing. You said Brendan is a friend, is there anyone else now?” she wanted to know.

“Alice,” Marc answered after a moment of thought. “Her son goes to school with Ariel. They got in a fight, and so she suggested a playdate, and now they get along famously. She’ll come over and we’ll work together while the kids are playing. And I guess I have a few acquaintances at work, but I’d rather keep work separate anyways.”

“And so what are you wanting to learn more about with yourself?”

Marc wasn’t ready for that yet. He stared her down and swallowed hard. “Things I ignored because of my dad,” he admitted softly, scowling in the process. “But not today.”

Dr. Sterling nodded and scribbled another something down. “Another time, then. It is a lot to talk about all at once.” She looked up at him then. “I do hope to hear about people like Brendan eventually, though.”

Marc didn’t say anything. It was like she already knew, but he wasn’t sure. He just nodded and they changed the topic back to his father for the rest of the hour. She let him leave then, and he hurried from the office there and back to his house.

Brendan had been in charge of watching Ariel after Marc had driven them over. Neither of them were downstairs when he got there, so he checked up in Ariel’s art room. Ariel was trying something with oil pastels, and Brendan’s fingertips were bright pink. He looked up at Marc guiltily. “How was your meeting?” Brendan asked, trying to hide the fact that Ariel’s hands were also covered in a number of colors, and her clothes.

Marc sighed and pulled Ariel up to her feet. “It was fine.” Brendan would get too excited about it now if Marc told him anything, and Marc was already talked out. An hour of nothing but sharing was intense. He did feel less on edge, without even realizing he’d been on edge to begin with.

“Dish soap would help with her hands, but I don’t know about her clothes,” Brendan mumbled carefully. “She was wiping her hands off before I noticed.”

“It’s fine,” Marc said, trying to sound earnest about it. He wasn’t really upset—at least Ariel had been changed out of her school uniform before getting pastel over everything.

Marc helped Ariel was her hands and then sent her to her room to change clothes. “How was your date on Saturday?” Marc finally made himself ask. He’d been trying not to think about it, and he’d at least made it till Tuesday.

“It was good.” Brendan grinned sheepishly. “He was nice, so I’m giving it another shot.”

Marc just nodded and held back on asking more questions. “What about Alice?” Brendan asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“She and her husband invited me over for dinner sometime,” Marc said, making sure Brendan got the hint there.

“Ah,” Brendan nodded. “Anyways. Mind giving me a ride home, or do you want me to hang around?”

“I should take you home,” Marc admitted. He had a lot to do and Brendan was an all to welcome distraction.