Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 12

“And did anything happen to your daughter?” Dr. Sterling questioned, her eyes narrowing.

“No, Ariel… no,” Marc stressed clearly. “I wouldn’t leave him alone with her. Ever. But I ended up having to explain to her some why Grandpa won’t be around.” She’d at least understood that a little better than he thought she would.

“What made the change where you decided to make that move?”

Marc hesitated then. “Brendan,” he sighed. “He’s Ariel’s art teacher, and… the more he uses the word, I guess my first real friend recently. My dad showed up in Brendan’s class to talk to Ariel, and Brendan knew I was on bad terms, so he called me. I ended up telling him a few days later.” Because he hadn’t been able to sleep, and Brendan had noticed it all. “He’s been through… some similar stuff, so he helped me figure out what I needed to do.”

“What did your wife know through all of this?” Dr. Sterling questioned.

“She and I divorced about two years ago. She’s living in Italy right now. I have custody of Ariel,” Marc explained, realizing she didn’t know the details of everything quite yet. He felt like he was repeating himself since Brendan knew most of it.

That’s when Dr. Sterling picked up her clipboard for a moment, writing something down and then setting it aside. Marc stared at the offending clipboard, curious about what she’d written, but knew that’s what he shouldn’t be focusing on.

“What are your goals, if you think you have any, through counseling?” Dr. Sterling asked.

Marc had to stop to think about it. He’d been thinking about it some over the past few days regardless. “Overcoming things about my father,” he admitted. “Connecting better with people.” He ground his teeth then. “Knowing myself better.”

Dr. Sterling nodded and grabbed her clipboard again, maybe to write all of that down. “I think those are good,” she agreed, smiling at him. “How do you want to work on all of those? One at a time, a little on each, or just however it comes up?”

“I don’t know.” Marc did like the idea of a plan though. “A little on each.”

“Okay, then. I think it’s good as well that you managed to separate yourself from your father. How have you been feeling since then?”

“Better.” Less of the sick feelings he got in the mornings, and he’d been sleeping better. “I’m still worried about him showing up at some point, or calling again… he still wanted to call, but I told him not to.”

“Do you think he would still hurt you if he had the chance?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t that hard to imagine for Marc. If they’d had that talk in person instead of over the phone it would have been very different.

“And I’m guessing you feel like that has a lot to do with you connect, or don’t connect, with the people in your life,” Dr. Sterling theorized, moving subjects slightly.