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iiⅰ ◦〉"spring" 〉𝔯𝔲𝔢 & 𝔩𝔢𝔵𝔦

It was just like when they were kids, and Lexi had picked up a crying, 5 year old Rue off the asphalt road when she'd scraped her knee while running to the swingsets, not leaving her sight until carrying her, arm in arm, all the way back to the Bennett's house.

After the endless apologies she made for Lexi having to carry her, Rue thanked her like little kids did, swearing to be best friends forever and hugging her for the longest she could until Lexi had to go back home.

Lexi loved her from that moment on. She never wanted to see her cry again.

Lexi can't bring herself to drive her away just to feel close again, so she clasps her hands together, squeezing them into her knees, and leaves them there. She has to be calm, and not let her emotions win.

"You're welcome, Rue."

Rue sucked her teeth, wishing she could have a cigarette right now and Lexi groaning for her to stop. At least then, Lexi wouldn't be so held back and biting her tongue to hold everything in.

"I don't mean to sound like an ass, seeing as I'm trying to say sorry, but I don't get why you're being so calm about this. I know you're quiet and all but hell, I was expecting something else."

Lexi snorted to herself. She's not furious, only a little dazed and confused, but nothing in her body is telling her to scream like a maniac just to make Rue feel better. Instead, she tries to give Rue straight answers, anything so Rue isn't thrown off the deep end and blaming herself any more.

"I don't know. But I'm not angry with you. Sometimes I was frustrated and upset, not at you, but for you."

Rue thinks back to that time at the start of the school year where Lexi had caught her in the bathroom, how she'd been nothing but a bully to someone so concerned. How Lexi thought of her as a friend, but Rue burned that bridge faster than she left Lexi in the ashes, all by spitting out the worst things she could.

How Lexi could stand her at this point? Rue didn't know.

"I just don't see how you can feel sorry for me. Maybe pitiful, but not-"

"I, look-it just wouldn't make sense if I got angry every time I was upset. I don't get how people can hold grudges and all that, but that's just not me."

"But I don't know. Maybe I'm just too patient. Cassie always says I'm a pushover."

One of the resolutions that had played over in Rue's head she'd made with Ali was stop apologizing for everything, although Lexi made it harder to do.

It's not like Lexi was asking for pity when she mentioned how she was used to the way Rue had treated her, but the past hit Rue all the more, how Lexi was so used to it and never found the chance to think differently and be upset.

She and Rue eventually grew up, and Rue had hardened a little, into a much less gentle and way more sensitive person than she used to be when she was younger. While Lexi, despite the ripple in their friendship remained as kind as ever, even when Rue felt like she didn't deserve it.

"No kidding," Rue muttered with a fake pout, letting Lexi know she was only teasing.

It was a bummer for both of them that Lexi had the patience of a saint enough to stay with Rue when it was driving them both insane, and that regret smacked Rue as softly as an incoming train when she realized just how much Lexi was taking in.

"And uh-seriously, it's good we're talking again," Rue said, "I missed this."

Without a second thought, Lexi became a touch more confident, knowing Rue wanted to patch things up, and spend time with her again.