Chioniphobia

Goodbye

The Guardian of Joy raised an eyebrow. "So she's okay with this?"

Pitch frowned and opened his mouth, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by Tooth flying up behind him and smacking him hard on the head with the pommel of her sword.

Jack froze a revenant that was about to attack the fairy as Pitch dropped to the ground. "About time. I was running out of annoying questions."

"I'm actually curious about the answers to those annoying questions," Tooth remarked, stabbing through an undead soldier before swinging her blade, impaled body and all, into another skeletal warrior.

Jack chewed his lip as the undead army slowly began to realize their leader was unconscious and lying prone. "So if the Nightmares turned on Pitch last time, what do you think the killer zombie nightmare sand cocktails will do?"

Tooth raised her now undead-free sword warily as another revenant approached them slowly. "In my experience, the undead fight on tirelessly, no matter what. If no one's here to command them, they'll probably just keep going blindly."

"Really? Because twenty bucks says they'll turn on Pitch."

The fairy laughed. "Twenty bucks and a martini says they'll fight on to the last man."

"If I win, can I get a rum and coke instead of a martini?"

"Sure."

"It's a bet, then."

Jack and Tooth stood with backs facing each other, weapons at the ready as the revenants surrounded them.

The warriors swarmed Pitch, melting into the shadows and dragging their leader with them.

Jack relaxed, tapping the crook of his staff on the ground where the Boogeyman had lain. "Looks like you owe me a drink, Tooth."

Tooth glanced down. "Railroaded by an undead army...I don't envy him."

"Hey, it was his undead army. He deserved it."

"You really think so? It's a rough fate."

"Heck yeah I think so; I bet Grim would too. Care for another gamble?"

Tooth shrugged and sheathed her sword. "I'm not betting against that. What do you think her opinion of the undead army is?"

"Probably indifferent."

"Ten bucks says she doesn't like them any more than we do."

"Done. Hey, when do I get my twenty bucks?"

"We'll settle up tomorrow. I hope you have somewhere besides your pockets to put change..."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack sat in a tree, sipping at his rum and coke as he took a break from snowball-making. A shadow moved in the corner of his eye, and he turned, fixing his gaze below.

"Pitch?"

Grim crossed her arms as she smirked up at him. "You really need to learn the difference between me and our mutual acquaintance, verglas."

Jack hopped down from his branch seat, balancing his drink carefully. "Sorry. Don't know how I couldn't tell- you're a lot prettier than the Boogeyman."

She laughed. "Well, I'm glad to hear you think so, mon flocon de neige. Though it's not the most unbelievable mistake- we both share a rather grim demeanor."

Jack looked to the sky and groaned as Grim cackled.

"What did I do to deserve this punishment?" he asked, taking a gulp of his rum and coke.

"Come on, darling- what's with the frosty reception?"

"Don't you have anyone else to pitch your comedy routine to?"

"Not a fan of black humor? Fine, but you needn't be so cold."

Jack chuckled. "Speaking of Black, what did you think of his little plan this time?"

She wrinkled her nose. "So he actually did it. Why am I not surprised?"

"Yep. His army turned on him, too, just like last time. You know, I think I heard something once about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Grim frowned. "They turned on him?"

"Yeah, once they realized they'd lost."

The Reaper's brow creased. "Mm. I should probably go check on him; pardon my cutting our visit short."

Jack saluted as she melted into shadows. "Goodbye 'til next time, then."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pitch awoke in a bed covered by a gold-colored blanket. He sat up, rubbing a hand across his eyes, and flinched at the loud crack of a blade hitting bone.

"Ah, good, you're up."

Pitch glanced over to see his wife swinging her scythe about, keeping a swarm of blacksand skeletons at bay. Multiple undead fell with every strike, breaking apart like paper turning to ash in a flame.

He grunted. "I suppose this is where you say 'I told you so?'"

Grim kicked a particularly feisty revenant aside, stomping on its fingers when it attempted to keep itself from tumbling into the chasm below. "Well, what did you expect to happen? You know the undead can't be controlled, not really."

He sighed and lay back down, pulling the blanket over his shoulders. "The nightmare sand should've-"

"Because how could combining the inconsistent loyalty of your Nightmares and the unpredictable rage of those lingering on earth past their time possibly go wrong?"

The Boogeyman chuckled. "I ought to have had you as my general. They'd not have dared to lose."

Grim struck down the last of the undead and sat on the edge of the bed, glaring at her husband. "What part of 'can't be controlled' isn't getting through to you? The only time the undead ever listen to me is when I manage to persuade them to let go of their past, and that's hardly a surefire tactic."

Pitch examined the blanket. "By the by, I'd like to commend you on your choice of color. It's...surprisingly inoffensive."

"Well if I'd brought in something fun you'd have refused to keep it in the lair. Besides, the color brings out your eyes."

Grim lay next to him and smoothed his hair. He felt a caress on his back and grinned. "Too much work to reach around me?"

Grim smiled as the shadow she was controlling curled next to her husband's neck. "What's the point in sharing your powers if I can't fool around with them a bit, hm?"

Pitch clasped her left hand in both of his and ran his thumb over the black band of metal encircling her finger. "Mm. Do you suppose I'd have better luck using revenants to take over the world if I asked them nicely?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're free to try. I doubt it would keep you from being beaten again."

"Your confidence in me is truly inspiring."

"Oh, I know you'll have your victory someday. It simply won't happen with the Guardians around." Grim reached up with her right hand and tapped the ring Pitch was wearing on his left. "And don't think they'll be disappearing any sooner because of this. I won't take your side just because we're married."

Pitch snorted. "As if I could ever be so deluded to think so."

"I was only clarifying things, darling. Your loving me hasn't changed you a whit; I'm not changing just because I love you."

He laughed and kissed her ring. "Mim forbid."