Dear diaries

lonely life.

Life is indeed cruel and unpredictable isn't it?. One time, your overly joyed, happy and carefree about things you shouldn't be bordering much about, or maybe so. Then, another time, you're so broken, and you just wish you can vanish from existence. Sometimes I really wonder, if people really survive by trying not to care so much, either about the good things that happen in their lives, or the bad stuffs. However they do it to survive, I wouldn't know because, in as much as I try not to care in order to be happy, I find myself doing otherwise, and trying to hide the pain of a broken heart or trying not to care, I don't know which one hurts the most, because both of them equally hurt as hell. sigh

January 1, 2018. 12:00 am

Today, I stand in the presence of God, inside the church auditorium, thankful for yet another year gone by. As I sing praise songs, and watch others dance, my mind wanders to all of the years happening, my achievements, my loses, my happy moment, sad fandom, uplifting moments, and times when I completely broke down and lost hope. Last year was indeed, a fully packed year, with all emotions entangled in it. For the records, it started off as a good year, full of promises and hopes, but somewhere in the middle of the year, things started to go off schedule, all starting with my next door neighbour, Kurtis.

Flashback

January 5, 2017. 8:00pm
Dear diary, today has been a really hectic day. I didn't anticipate things to go this way. My colleague at work, Susan, she can be very annoying sometimes. Wait, who the hell does she think she is? I almost smacked her cheeks today, all the while, she has been spreading false rumours about me, but it is today I got to know that she has always been the one talking crap about me behind my back. I was so mad when I overheard her gossiping (was it even a gossip? It was a false allegation) with another colleague at work. She was telling the other colleague of mine that, I had my current post, as the junior manager of JGK Consult and Mines, by having sex with the CEO of the company. I didn't mean to hear that, or maybe I shouldn't have heard it. Either way, it doesn't change that fact that, what she said was so ridiculous. I mean, how can I sleep with my own father to merit a higher post at the office? Maybe it's because she doesn't know that Mr Jerry Gregor Koomson, is my dad, and even if she knew, she probably would have also said that because I'm his daughter, that is the reason for my promotion as The Junior manager. All these baseless rumours are part of the reasons why my dad often declines or better, disagrees with me, on the issue of working, even though I love to work. Aside me being the only daughter of the richest man in Africa, and second richest in the world at large, my dad often says I'm the apple of his eyes  and as such, he can take good care of me, so I need not work. That's to say, my mom passed when I was only 10. My dad hasn't married again after her, although he has been in a few relationship. He says he can't find the exact replica of my mom, hence it's quite difficult for him to love another woman, the reason for his celibate life, even after mom has passed over Thirteen years ago. I won't bore you with that now, some other time.
As I entered into the room with rage, I walked over to Susan, looking into her surprised and panicked eyes, with anger in mine. The other colleague of mine, whose name I suppose, is Ivy, was equally astonished, and the fear that I might have heard them, was all over her face. She has every right to feel scared because indeed, I overheard them. I wanted to yell at both of them, but I haven't been the violent type of girl ever, and I feared the outcome of me being violent now. Maybe I'll have them both fired tomorrow, or a reduction in their pay, for false allegation. I could also have them sued, but that will be heartless of me, since I'll be taking it took far with them. In as much as they are both at fault, I also thought of the fact that I'll be jeopardising their future if I did report them to my dad, and so for that, I'll let it pass this time, but not the next. Most often than not, even when I'm the victim of any form of assault, I end up thinking about the culprit's reputation or safety first even though I'm hurt, and that is what happened with Susan and Ivy today. Maybe it's my weakness, or maybe it's my strength, but who'll know, unless one explores it in both the positive and negative aspect, and one cannot explore it, unless it's known to that person, and nobody has gotten closer enough to know, which could only mean, I have a power in my hands, which I can use for evil, or good, but in all the cases I have only used it for good, like in today's case. As I saw the fear on their faces, I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. But why would they make up false stories about, if they know where it'll get them? I guess they don't know, or they are probably jealous of me, that could only be the reasons for their false allegations right? If not, then I don't know what they are up to, but just in case I hear another rumour about me, circulated by Susan or Ivy, I'll have both of their asses fired.

January 10, 2017. 7:15 pm

Dear diary, it's been a week since I last penned down something, I know. But the past week has nothing really interesting and memorable to write about. After catching Susan and Ivy red handed, the rumours started to die down. Maybe they feared losing their jobs like I thought. Still, nobody knows of my identity as the daughter of Mr. JGK. Thankfully, I took after my mom's appearance, so it's quite fortunate for me, but rather unfortunate for my dad, since I remind him of my mom all the time, but that only intensifies his love and care for me. I got my own house today, and it's fully furnished, with a pool in it.
Oh! How I have waited so long for it! Ever since I turned 21, I have been longing to have my own apartment and move out of Aunty Araba's house. It's not as though I don't like to live with her. She has been my foster mother, ever since my mom passed. My whole life, she is the one I have spent a greater portion with, not even with my dad. That explains why people don't know me as his daughter. According to stories told to me by my aunt, when my dad's businesses started to blossom, which was about fifteen years ago, he started to have a lot of enemies and frenemies, who wanted him dead and gone, so upon realisation, he decided to hide me, when rumours had it that my mom was killed by an enemy of his.
From my aunt's story, she said that my mom was on her way to work around the hours of seven to eight, when she was crossed by assassins who were sent to kill her, at the Sakumono  estate road. She was shot in the head, by a 5.56×45mm. 223 centrefire cartridge/bullet. She was rushed to the hospital by some onlookers, who were present at the scene, and she was pronounced dead upon arrival. My dad was so broken and hurt, and he vowed to find the culprit, which he did. To his surprise, it was a partner of his, whom he had refused a contract because he had given it out to another. He was hurt, and in his quest for retaliation, he killed my mother.
Although he has been jailed for life, my dad has still not been able to get over my mom's death. He still holds a grudge against his wife's murderer.