Souls Entwined

Chapter Two

I didn't turn as he knocked on the doorframe, wishing there wasn't a compulsion to do so in his own office. He crossed the room in three long strides and used a hand to smooth back my hair as he placed a tender kiss on my forehead.

I smiled softly as a greeting, touching three fingers to his wrist as he pulled back, moving towards his desk. It didn't feel like enough – it never did – but we had reached a standpoint. He waited for me to make the first move, but I felt like I was in quicksand. I knew I wouldn't make it to him before time ran out.

The old chair groaned under his weight, and he reached for a leaf of paper, the springs creaking under him. An awkwardness hung in the air, and Kaden took the time to smooth a fresh sheet of paper atop his new writing pad, a gift from Rylan following the news of the looming alpha ceremony. The slow, languid movement had no objective – done only to keep his hands and eyes busy before he leaned back in his chair, watching me from across the room. 'How was your morning?'

I turned my eyes back toward the training fields, unable to meet the intensity in his stare. 'It was okay. I met with Kendra for tea before going to the library. It was a nice start to my day.'

'That's good.'

'Mhhh,' the note hummed on my lips, 'How was your morning?' I didn't mean to feel so detached, but I couldn't help thinking about what it meant to hear him knocking on his own door. Moments were rare between us. Our only solace was found when we hid away from the world. 'I see it was productive.'

Kaden finally pulled his gaze away to study the empty office, and my lungs managed to fill with air. I wanted to change the rarity of moments between us, but floundering to grasp something concrete, I sunk further into the quicksand.

'I packed last night. I've had meetings most of the morning, nothing serious.'

As he looked upon the room, I stole my chance to study his features, pushing aside the twinge of discomfort which triggered in the back of my mind. You're allowed to look at your soulmate, I told myself. It's not wrong.

Kaden slouched against the leathered cushion of his chair, using the pad of his thumb in soft, slow movements to draw rings atop the wooden grain of his armrest. His thoughts were somewhere else. The focus in his eyes never dwindled – I'd grown to know that the bright awareness would always be there – but I knew something was wrong. It was the hollowing of his cheeks and his skin's pale pallor. It was an immediate cause for worry.

'Did you sleep last night?'

A faint smile caught on his lips, 'Not much. There was too much to do.'

'Come here.' I ignored my pounding heart, twisting my fingers together.

He didn't move at first, with a sharpness to his eyes as he studied me, waiting for a contradiction to my words. It had to be only the fourth or fifth time I had initiated anything close to intimacy in the year we had been together. There was a tightening in my chest with the realisation that he was so used to it that the thought of anything else concerned him.

He was so used to me shying away from his touch that the suggestion caused him to hesitate.

I wanted to apologise immediately, but the darker side of my mind started working hard to convince me that he hesitated only because the idea of coming near me repulsed him. So I waited, unable to reassure him as I fought back the dark thoughts. My heart caught in my chest, unable to beat while Kaden fought his internal battle.

I was close to pulling back the words, willing to give him the contradiction he sought, but I forced myself to wait. I wanted to keep my promise to try harder. I felt vulnerable as I waited, like I had offered a piece of myself up, and all I could do was wait to see if he took and cherished it or destroyed it in the process.