One Hundred Ways To Annoy Snape (Finished)

Stunning Insults

"Rock my dear girl what on earth happened to the poor professor?" my grandfather rushed out walking forward with speed.

"Well you see we were having a little fun and sexy Snape here took it a little too far. I had to jix him so he wouldn't himself. I didn't want the professor hurt grand-father" I pouted and saw him look to Jen who was trying to come up with something to add.

"He did not insult us" she informed and I saw my grand-father turn and look at me in a slightly stern gaze.

"Rock Lula Riddle did you knock this poor man out because he insulted you?" He demanded to know and I shrugged.

"Fine... Yes I did knock sexy Snape out but grand-father he called Jen a brat, we only hugged him." I pouted to see his eyes widen.

"Y-You hugged him?" he gasped and I smiled nodding my head while Jen smiled most likely recalling the hug with fondness.

"Yes" we chimed together, my grand-father looked over Snape and his eyes widen while his mouth hung open.

"You coloured the poor mans hair GREEN" his voice raised and I noticed sexy Snape beginning to wake slightly.

"Well we would hardly do it red... He is the head of Slytherin grand-father, as much as I love talking to you we need to get the potion master to bed... andmayjustjoinhim" I rushed out to see Jen's eyes widen with that possibility.

Join him now that would be a very nice thing indeed.

"I do not wish to know what that last thing you said was, girls please go easy on him... Severus is a very fragile man" he commented and I rolled my eyes while Jen thought it over been the logical one of the two of us.

"We promise to try headmaster" she smiled politely and I groaned and heaved Snape up him having given me a dead arm. "But I'm sure he's handled more than two teenage girls. Perhaps he's not as fragile as you think, sir." 

"Very well... Rock no more stunning teachers" he ordered and I whinnied but nodded my head, he didn't say anything students.

"Come on sexy lets get you to bed" I smirked and saw Jen shake her head.

"Do you think he would mind if we undress him?" Jen smiled her cheeks flushing slightly and no doubt the thought of her really doing that.

"Of corse not" I gasped kicking the door open to see his living quarters greet us, turning left I saw the huge double bed with silver and green adorning it and smiled.

Placing him on the bed I started to take his shoes and Jen watched shock that I was really doing it, well it is me!! Fiddling with the laces I eased them off placing them on the floor, it is not a comfortable thing to do, sleep in shoes that is...

"What about the rest of of it?" Jen whispered and I shook my head, leaving the room Jen rushed out after me her face showing her fear of him waking up.

"Just take that hideous black robe off, I am going to right dear sexy a letter" I smirked and saw her pale while blushing at the prospect of what I offered should happen.

"All right, I can do this... Snape will not wake up," she encouraged herself and I shook my head sitting down with paper and a quill. "What if he wakes up?" 

Dear professor sexy

You find yourself back in your chambers because of the kind-ness myself and Jen have, we could have left on the floor but I thought that to be a little mean. Your shoes have been removed for your comfort the same goes with your old man robes. You may have a slight headache when you  wake so we have left you a headache relief potion just in case. Here is hoping you have woken having had naughty dreams, tut tut... It would not do well to let people know how you feel about me and my friend. Our little secret....

Rock Lula Riddle

I walked into the bedroom and growled. Sexy was up and had Jen's wrist gripped tightly while she was wincing in pain. Slapping his leg, he shot around and let go of her immediately... smirking. I walked around to his side of the bed. "Sexy, if you wanted Jen in bed with you, you had only ask. We don't like being dragged," I commented to see his eyes harden and Jen turned scarlet. 

"Riddle, Miss Dewitt is a student, a student that was un-dressing me... I was doing none of the sort you were insinuating" he hissed and I rolled my eyes placing the note onto his table along with the potion.

"You keep telling yourself that" I commented and heard him growl while he dropped back down into the pillow.

"Just leave" he barked and I shook my head sitting on the side of the bed while Jen stood watching with wide eyes. Placing the vile to his mouth I tipped the entire contents down his throat and saw his eyes widen.

"Nope not poison, just a head-ache relief potion" I confirmed to see him relax and close his eyes.

"Why must you torment me so?" He groaned and I smile at Jen who had moved around to be face to face with the sexy professor.

"Sir we are going to leave you, come on Rock" Jen called and I sighed growling but stood any-way. Walking out the bedroom door I saw him watch us leave and heard a sigh of relief.

"Sir we wont kill you" I chimed and saw Jen freeze and spin to gaze at me.

"Thank you for the confirmation I was so looking for, now leave" he hissed with contempt and I shrugged leaving the room with a smile in place, Jen waiting at the door I ran towards her and we pulled it closed hearing.

"Someone must really hate me"