rubatosis | s. todoroki

30 | grave

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Saito Emi

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She has chosen the busiest day of the week so there is no chance someone has free time to visit the graveyard and she will be alone. The words she knows she's going to spew will need as much privacy as possible and she has enough respect for her mother to provide that.

Weather isn't that great-dark splotchy sky with rushing winds. Traffic provides a lot of unwarranted honks from drivers whose faces can't get blotchier than this. Volunteers crying out loud so their voices will be able to reach people over the traffic. Heroes flying and walking everywhere with bright costumes and brighter smiles.

All in all, she goes unnoticed and she loves it.

When she reaches her mother's tomb, she finds herself choking on her upcoming words. She's never found herself in a position where she can speak with her and not fear an angry or a taunting response. It is strange as it is freeing.

"I miss you," she settles on saying, kneeling so her bare knees would touch the ground. She finds it suitable to wear something her mother would've hated-some shorts and a hoodie she would've claimed sloppy-not to spite her but to show her that she has stayed the same. "As weird as it sounds. I'm sure you didn't expect this. Or maybe you did. I wouldn't know."

She takes a deep breath, her fingers start playing with the long grass.

"I didn't get you flowers because I know you don't like them. You've always said that fragile pretty things have no meaning in life. I came here because after a year, after a long year with friends and people I could now call family, I want to face you. It may seem cowardly to you. It may seem like I waited for your death to do it. But no. I may not have been able to it anyway."

Emi smiles as a boy with dual-coloured hair, a boy with fluffy green hair, a boy with blonde spikes and a girl with earplugs for earlobes all came to mind.

After a year of chaos-dangerous villains escaping prison, All for One and even crazier shit-her group of friends have become so close, they started getting admired for it.

"Those people I met. They changed me for the better. I used to fear you. I used to follow everything you said lest you lash out. When you got bedridden, I just barely changed my ways. Nevertheless, you lingered, dead or alive."

She can already feel some blood rising to her face at the next part but stifles her embarrassment for later. She is talking to a dead person for God's sake.

"You said boys were a waste of time. You said no one would ever want me anyway. You were wrong about that. I met a guy-" gentle touches, gentler gazes, gentlest smiles,"-and he's everything I wanted and never knew I did. He's also everything you might have hated but still accepted.

"I know the man you loved didn't love you back but that didn't mean you could take it out on me. I understood everything you did, sometimes accepting it because I couldn't imagine going through your life. But that was wrong. And I just wanted to let you know that despite that, I forgive you. You were the only mother I had, a better mother than whatever the other woman was or might've been, at least you cared. I forgive you."

Beams of sunlight fell through the clouds and Emi took it as a sign to stop and take a breath. She's never felt lighter. And she's never felt her mother's happiness pulse through her like that before. It was exhilarating.

And despite the way her day has started, she can feel complete peace embrace her heart.