1. when there was nothing

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Even after all these years,the horrors of this world never fail to amaze me.

The nightly terrors plague my mind as the worldly affairs burden my soul.
With hunched shoulders,crippling bones and quivering lips,
I finally sit down on the broken pavement of the abandoned cul de sac.It's coldness counters my own.

Defeated from life like many other impetuous fools before me.
Its glittering lights,busy life and buildings that seemed larger than life no longer appease me,
along the way they somehow lost their luster.
The wisps of smoke rise excruciatingly slowly as if mocking me for they are free and I,still captive.
It has been a long exile.
a humorless chuckle finds its way into the empty night from my dry throat,disturbing its silence.
The irony of death escapes me.

I am an outcast,an enigma for many.
I wander like a hopeless romantic to fantasy lands as my mind struggles to grapple on to reality,the latter scarier.

Perhaps i should give in now.

The hands of the clock move as
time passes slowly which is a rarity these days,unfortunately i do not have the privilege to wait for it .
I can feel it taking over.

The weight crushing my being as sanity loosens its grip and fervour takes over.
My baptism dirtying the waters,tarnishing the world further.
But what is one more drop in a limitless ocean.

I watch silently as the last string of my hope is cut and my human form is crucified.

God is yet to intervene.

Perhaps even he is waiting, waiting to see how long will my resistence last?
How long will I struggle against the rope that he has tightened slowly over
the years.
Will i break first or the rope?

After all isn't that what this world is at the end of a day.
A test,
where we are mere puppets,alive to amuse him.

Contrary to what every one believes death is neither graceful nor peaceful.

My body convulses and my mouth starts froating,
i begin to lose conciousness as my lifeless grey eyes roll back and the world seems a little blurry , my frost bitten hands stop shivering,my wet midnight locks start greying and then I am gone.

Through the years i have changed countless faces but what i could never change was my destiny.

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