Miss Mercuriality: A Freddie Mercury Parody Fic

2: Duped

Dizzy with confusion, I let this so-called Elba drag me out of the building where she found me and into another- a larger, more modern looking one with a smooth, oblong shape that reminded me of that big silver bean thing in the heart of Chicago. The chrome double doors opened to a lobby that oozed of contemporary style, right down to the low-backed, angular loveseats and the insanely abstract chandelier hanging high above my head.  Strangely, though, I saw no banners proclaiming what all this fuss was over, nothing that remotely suggested some big event was about to start.  Everything looked as normal, if also quite sterile, as could be.

She led me to the front desk, where a young, hipster-looking fellow with a nametag that read "Leo" glanced up and smiled at us. 

"There you are," he said pleasantly.  "We almost thought you weren't going to make it."

"You know better than that; I haven't missed one yet," Elba smiled.

His brow arched.  "I would hope not, this being the first ever in the history of the world."

She laughed, tugging me out from where I was hiding behind her.  "Meet our very first winner."

"Hi," I squeaked with a little awkward wave.

Leo nodded a silent greeting, sliding a sheet of paper closer towards him and clicking a black pen to life.  "Name?"

I balked.  All of a sudden, I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was.  Call it nerves, call it dream logic, I couldn't even say I ever had one.  It had slipped through the spaces in my mind like a coin through the grate of a storm drain.

But somehow, Leo understood.  "Oh.  Another one of those."  He peered the previous stack of paper he had filled in a moment, then sighed.  "Okay, we've already got a 'Your,' and a 'Name,', guess I'll have to be creative with this one.  Uh- let's call you- Kimi."

"Kimi?" I repeated, even more confused now than before- which was saying something.

"Yeah.  As in, Kimi no Nawa.  That's what we'll call you.  Okay?  Okay.  Age?"

Kimi No Nawa?  Where the hell did he get that from?  "Uh- I think I'm- 18.  Or something close to that.  I'm not really sure."

"Here, for the sake of avoiding any potential politics or weirdness, let's just say you're 20," he murmured.  "There's enough sexual innuendo as it is, we don't need anyone having a tizzy over age gaps, too."

"Age gaps?"

"You're quite a little parrot, aren't you," Elba remarked.

I swallowed.  "I don't mean to be, I just don't have the first clue what's going on.  I'm sorry."

"Honey, listen: you're going to have to be more assertive than this," Leo informed me.  "This pageant is not for the faint of heart.  Not that they aren't nice people at their core, because I'm sure they are.  But when it comes to him, all other loyalties and courtesies fly out the window, and winning becomes the only thing that matters."

"Wait a second," I said, overlooking that all-important, telltale "him".  "It's a - pageant?"

"That's not what they're calling it, of course, but that's what it boils down to."

"You mean, like a- beauty pageant, with scholarships and crowns and all that jazz?"

Elba's tone became foreboding.  "Crowns?  Yes.  Scholarships? Not so much.  It's a little more, uh- earthy than that."

"Earth-" I started to say again, but caught myself.  "What do you mean?  What's going on?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

I gulped again.  I don't like this. Not one bit.  "Um- look.  I know I'm checked in and everything, but- is it too late to back out?"

"Back out? Why?" Leo gasped.  "You haven't even found out what you're competing for!"

"Listen," Elba sighed, extending her hand to me once more.  "Grab your nametag and come with me.  Meet the other girls, listen to the overview of the process, find out what awaits you at the end of the rainbow- then make your decision to stay or to go.  Fair?"

I thought it over a moment.  "So it's an optional thing?"

"Right now, yes.  Once you sign the contract they put in front of you after orientation, however, you're in it to win it, unless of course you get disqualified.  Then you're just in it until somebody else gets the crown, the title- and the Prize."

"What's the Prize?"

"You'll find out when you join the others," Leo said.  "So will you give it a go?"

I glanced back at the steely doors that stood between me and a premature exit.  As many bad feelings as I was getting, as much as this whole setup reeked of a poorly-disguised triangle scheme, I was nonetheless intrigued by the Prize- and why these other girls would become so engrossed by something so inconsequential.

"I'll stay till orientation," I agreed at last.  "But that's it."

"We will see how you feel afterward," Elba quipped.  So saying, she slapped the sticker with my new name across my shirt's lapel.  Leo wished me good luck, for which I thanked him.  Seconds later, we were on the move again, the lobby growing small in our wake as we power walked straight into a brightly lit corridor.

When I looked back toward the entrance, however, I could no longer see the shining chrome doors.  It was as though they had been swallowed up by the walls themselves, barring me any further chance of just walking out.  So much for optional participation.

Man, I hated these kinds of dreams.