I'm Sorry.

TJH.#1

Dear Mom/Kayla,
   I'm sorry for being born. I know that I wasn't your favorite in the first place even though I was your first child.

I should have been better, try to visit you more even. But.. you were always too busy for my time. Well.. you wouldn't be busy if you'd just stopped doing drugs. You were tired all the time, too tired to even notice I was knocking on your door.

I'd have to sit in the basement until I heard someone was awake, I'd have to wait because Grandma would have already been gone by now.

I love you dearly with all my heart and soul Mother, even though I have been taken away. I should have kept my mouth closed but you didn't want me.

You used to hit me, punch me, slap me. It was Halloween.. you would have taken me down if you weren't so weak. You wouldn't have been weak if you were on drugs.

I'm away now. The only kid that you get to see now is Laila. How does that make you feel? How does it make you feel that you've lost you're child? It feels good huh? I've read you're Facebook posts.. complaining that you miss Laila. LAILA and not me. You get to see her, you don't get to see me. So why Laila? Is it because she's younger than me? Is it because she's five? I miss her too but you could at least try to act like you love me still.

Why didn't you love me?

I'm sorry.

-TJH