Trust&Tears

CHAPTER 2

"Everyone is growing up and changing too"

As we grow up, we all change in many ways. Some changes are big, like starting a new job or getting married. Other changes are small, like trying a new food or learning a new hobby. But no matter what type of change it is, it can be hard to adjust to at first.

So here I am now. I am in our dorm, with Kayen. Maybe it is for the best, somehow maybe it can save our relationship. But I don't know what to do now, how to act. It feels so weird, being not in the same room as him and not being able to talk to him. This is surreal.

I moved out of his apartment but moving on from him, I am still thinking about it. I have so many questions that I need answers to. I want to move on but a part of me feels like I am not ready yet. But I know that I need to start somewhere so here goes nothing.

How do you know when you are ready to move on? This is something that I have been struggling with for a while now. I know it will take me a long time to realize this and even longer to accept it. But once I did, it was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

Kayen embraces me, and I can sense her relief as she says, "Finally girl, you did it."

I miss him so much but he is just pretty into his new world.

I can still picture the girl he seemed to be flirting with, who I absolutely detest, in my mind's eye. My heart is racing!

"We have to go somewhere else!" she said.

"What? why?" I asked lazily, I do not want to go anywhere besides tomorrow is our first day. I just want to lay down and sleep.

"Nope! Brick will kill me knowing his temper? I am sure if he finds out that you moved out, oh I don't even want to imagine it"

Deep inside me, I am wishing that he will come here and take me back to his side.

"I am really lazy now Kayen, can we just skip for today" I pleaded.

"Urgh! anything is nice"

"Can we just have some beer and pizza?" 

"Pizza is OK, but beer is probably not a good idea right now. I'm just going to call Keall and ask him to get us some snacks." she continued. 

"Gross! Kayen, your cheeks are flushed! Allow him to place both orders. I need beer please" I yelled.

"What do you care?" she said, "just mind your shattered heart."

 "Ha-ha, as if I'm going to cry!" and roll my eyes at her.

It's late, so I take a seat on our little couch. Brick should probably be at his apartment and looking for me, but he hasn't texted or called me yet.

My heart is in excruciating pain.

I go to his Instagram and other social media accounts to see what he's up to.

I'm not used to tracking him because I trust him so much, but all these doubts have been encouraging me to do so recently.

I begin with his most recent photographs, which are all blank. I look through the labeled photographs and videos and see a lot of unwanted images.

I see the face of the girl I'm cursing right now once more; they're constantly together, just as in the photo. They appear to be close enough to make me envious.

What is her name?

I also see a few guys whom I thought maybe his peers.

I keep on browsing though it feels like a shotgun to my eyes until I saw another familiar face.

Brick seat with a guy and they seem to be a good friend, this guy is the one who is flirting with me that night before I caught Brick.

So they knew each other.

And the sound of a knock stops my curious mind from wondering.

I hope it's Brick but the sound of his knock is different, I know if it's him because of his loud and not so patience knock.

"Hi, Keall" I greeted him with a smile after Kayen opens the door.

"I bought your beer and pizza, what do we get?"

"We are going to cheer her up" Kayen pointed at me.

" Uh okay! the beer will help to mend her broken heart" Keall added.

We set up the table and our movie.

1 hour ago and still I did not get any messages or voice mail from my greatest lover.

"Omg! are you drunk already?" Kayen asked me.

" Nope!" I denied but I think I am.

"It's okay, sometimes you have to let it go girl"

"Is Brick Handerson your man?" Keall asked. I nod.

"Oh I see." the way he says his name tells me of a story he wanted to tell.

"I am starting to hate him"

"You know, my half-brother Andre?" Keall ask.

"Huh?"

"Is he a hottie?" Kayen jokes that make his face upset.

"His name sound familiar?" I said.

"Familiar? you are actually talking to him last night we went out?" he added.

And then I suddenly remember the guy.

"Ow is he your brother? that flirt guy?!"

Keall seems shocked by the word "Flirt"

"What? He is flirting with you?"

"Why, can't he?"

"Duh! He's allergic to chic man!"

"Gay?" and then I remember a pic of him with Brick which is weird because they are really close.

"NO! what I mean is that my brother hates to flirt with  girls"

"O M G" Kayen murmured.

"hahaha! funny"

"I am serious. but anyway he is a friend of your man, they are really close but not until.."

"Until what?"

"Never mind"

"Oh come on! spill it baby" Kayen pleaded with him by the sound of the controversy arising and, I am starting to have cold feet.

"Well, your man and my bro are like a brother, knowing they went into the same course and are both an athlete, they are inseparable in every gig and party they are in. Andre introduces Ivana, his best friend to your man."

"Ah okay stop, I don't want to hear it anymore!"

"Cheers!" Kayen shouted.

"Let's just drink! Tomorrow is our first day and let's hit it with a blast!"

"To our first day as freshmen!"

Sometimes I wonder if to be in love as young as this is all that it's cracked up to be.

I used to hear older people talk about how love is beautiful and amazing, but also how it can be so difficult and painful. And I would always think to myself, "I don't understand why they are complaining. Love is supposed to be happy and perfect." But now that I am experiencing it for myself, I realize that love isn't always easy. It can be really great, but it can also be really hard.