The Decoy Assassin

If Darcy was a diamond ring, I was a ring pop. A little bigger, kinda fruity, and leaves a mess in my wake, a bit like a blue-stained tongue. Meanwhile, Darcy was small, sharp, refined, and what everyone wants as their best friend, girlfriend, daughter, etc.

No wonder I was her decoy assassin; the one who is meant to distract and likely be killed as a sacrifice because I failed Assassin Academy training, but I know too much to go back to civilian life.

"I see you failed again," Captain B'Asshole (his real name, I swear!) tsked, staring at Darcy's leg, wrapped in a brace and elevated on his glass coffee table.

"But did she die?" I asked. On our last assassination assignment, Darcy was to kill an emerging mob ring leader, of which she succeeded in doing, but not before getting shot twice in the leg because I gave her hiding spot away when I tripped over a dead body guard Darcy had also succeeded in assassinating.

"I'm okay, really," Darcy said. Did I mention on top of being a badass assassin she's a total sweetheart and incredibly brilliant and beautiful? Living, breathing, diamond ring.

Captain B'Asshole narrowed his eyes at her, as though telling her to not encourage me, and then shifted them to me. "You are to protect her, Gloria." (Yeah, that's right; I'm an assassin's decoy named Gloria. Bet you'd never expect me as an assassin! Or Darcy: a blonde-haired, green-eyed beaut with flawless pale skin and zero body fat. Me, a brown-haired, brown-eyed, brown-skinned ordinary girl with average height and size.)

"I know. I tried."

"Next time, don't simply try; do." Captain B'Asshole said sternly. "You are dismissed, but Darcy," his tune turned sweet and kind, "I would like a private word with you."

I dreaded that it'd be about my termination for excessive failure, but it made sense since I failed the academy, why wouldn't I fail at decoying? Awkwardly, I climbed over Darcy's leg, sensing her wince when my leg didn't properly clear her leg. I mouthed a sorry, and exited the room, accidentally slamming the door.

*

Four hours later, Darcy limped gracefully into my cube outside her office – how she managed to make everything she did look so graceful and elegant was lost on me.

"I'm so sorry, Darcy," I said. Even if she didn't look in pain, I'd taken her temporarily out of the game. Knowing Darcy, she probably could still be a better assassin with a broken leg than I could even if I had a third.

"Don't be," she said, a smile upon her lips. "You've given me three weeks to catch up on reading and shows. Do you know how many seasons have been released since I last had some time off?" In the past year, we'd been all over the world and around it again chasing down targets. I'd barely even seen myself in a mirror I had so little time to sit still between assignments. "I'm looking forward to the down time." She lowered her voice. "Don't tell B'Asshole that."

I mimed zipping my lips and throwing away the key. "Secret is safe with me."

"Anyway." She took a leaning-seat on my desk, sitting on my assignment review notes and my baloney sandwich. "I've got something I need you to do. An assignment. A lead assignment."

"Lead assignment?" Decoys didn't do leads; we weren't good enough. We'd get killed and fail, leaving an actual assassin decoyless. And I let Darcy down enough; I couldn't leave her without me. No matter how useless I sometimes was.

Darcy sighed. "B'Asshole assigned me one; a small, little mission that he thinks I can do injured, but I don't want to risk it. If I don't rest and heal properly, I might not work again." Tears gathered in her eyes, making them somehow sparkle.