NaNoWriMo Journal

NaNoWriMo 22: Stuck

Doldrums is a word that refers to the area right along the equator, where there are nearly no prevailing winds, and frequent complete calms.  Sailing ships used to get stuck in the doldrums, sometimes for weeks.  Sailing across the equator can be difficult, if you are sailing and not using an engine.

It is also a great word that means stuck.  That describes where I am, right now.  It isn’t that I can’t write.  It is that the stuff I’m trying to say doesn’t feel right.  

I’ve been flying along in my writing, patting myself on the back because I’ve been able to stay well on track, only writing an hour or two a day.  I know where I’m going, and I do know what the ending is going to be.  I also have some segments (in my head) between where we are and that ending that I think will make for pretty exciting reading.

You know part of the ending already, if this is a prequel to The Jumper.  Other parts of it I want to keep surprises, but I have that ending fairly well in mind.

Where I’m struggling is in the balance.  There are three types of struggles that drive the story to its conclusion, and I think all three of them need to be included, all along the way.  

The first type of struggle is in the relationships, with external struggles and conflicts.  What is happening between Apple and Little Bear, and how will that affect his relationship with Willow, or Apple’s relationship with her daughter Blueberry?  Apple does want Blueberry to marry Little Bear, when she is a bit older (the alternative is her half-brother, Tiger.)  Think of your mom seducing your boyfriend.  Not a happy situation, any way you slice it.  Both Willow and Blueberry are justly going to feel betrayed.  Cave Bear, on the other hand, is a whole different issue.  Both Apple and Little Bear might die, if he finds out.  (Hmm.  Make that “when” he finds out.)  And Ash and Apple are rivals for Cave Bear’s support, and Ash is not stupid, at all.

The second type of struggle is in the internal conflicts, as all struggle with themselves.  Little Bear has the different perspectives brought by his human and tarshen sides, as well as his own feelings about everything that is happening to him.  He is completely unprepared for most of it--but then again, isn’t that life?  There are also internal conflicts we’ve already seen for Tiger, Apple, Ash, Blueberry, Willow, Raccoon, and Cave Bear.  There will be others, and I’ve probably missed some.

The third type of struggle is in what I call technical challenges.  That could be in the invention of the atlatl (the spear thrower,) or it could be in facing war with another tribe, or in figuring out how to find game when it has mostly gone South for the winter.  This is the action, the direct part of fighting to stay alive, whatever the specific type.  Smoking meat, tanning hide, building a sled, learning hygiene, and inventing other things, are all part of staying alive.  So are fighting enemies, hunting for game, finding appropriate vegetable foods for vitamins, and figuring out how to keep the various members of the tribe from killing each other.

The three questions that matter to me are (a) how are they going to stay alive, (b) how are they going to relate to each other, and (c) how are they going to feel about it.

I’ve gotten stuck because I’ve essentially wandered into dealing with relationships and sexuality more than I wanted to, and getting back out of that is going to be difficult.  Whatever I want to write, it’s going to be chaos.  So I came over to the journal when I should be writing the novel, to see if explaining this to you will help me sort it out.

Aha!  Maybe it has.  We’ll see.  If chaos is what I am thinking as Little Bear comes out of the cave, then maybe I need to do the exact opposite.  Everything looks different to him, but really, everything is peaceful and normal, and no one has a clue.

It can go on for days and weeks, with technical challenges, but no external relationship struggles.  Everyone is happy, and all is well.

And the internal conflict will make Little Bear ready to explode.  

Okay, I can work with that.  Yes, I really am working this out by writing this; that was the point of doing this journal.  I struggle with whatever I’m struggling with, and if I can’t tell you “this is how I solved this issue,” then I can complain about it, and in the complaining, maybe figure out what I need to do next.

That gives me material for the next chapter, anyway.

I think I am, so far, only about halfway through the story.  There is a lot of internal development that has to happen with Little Bear/Gerleesh, and that will take a lot more time.  There are also many technical challenges, from surviving the ice age winter, to going south to encounter more tribes, to facing war, famine, and disease.  

Most of all, however, are the developments in relationships, still to come.  A lot of people are struggling in a lot of different ways, and I’m becoming quite fond of them.  I’ll have to give breathers, once in a while, so readers can find an undisturbed moment of satisfaction, or even of humor, but mostly, things are going to keep happening, as they move forward to the conclusion.

When I do the rewrite for this, I’m going to have to remove all the ages of characters.  They would not have thought of things in those terms, anyway.  A boy was a man when he was able to pick up a spear and fight for the tribe.  A girl was a woman when she was able to have a baby.  Age references did not matter, and relative ages between characters would not have mattered at all.  I have to track them in a spreadsheet, so I don’t have, say, a mother of 22 with a daughter of 16, but I don’t need to put the numbers in the story that way.  Apple is not really that much older than Little Bear, but calling him a certain age creates issues that don’t need to be there and are not, in fact, relevant to the story.

Thank you for being good listeners!

Brian Groover
Frederick, Maryland
Friday, 21 November 2014