Right Under the Stars

"Emma, our house is right under the stars", Grandpa used to say whenever we lay outside the house, gazing at the random constellations in the sky. There was the Orion, my favourite among the bunch, since it was the easiest I could figure out among all those shining spots up there. Grandpa was really adventurous, just like the hunter Orion, even at the age of sixty-four. We used to do all sorts of crazy things in the day time and laugh about those at nights. Papa and Mumma were rather strict towards their only child and I never liked them much. All my secrets directly went to my Grandpa and never to my parents.

It was my seventh birthday. Grandpa bought me a surprise cake which he said was baked by the black rabbit in the moon. "Seriously Grandpa, do you really think I am that naive ?", I asked. He simply winked at me and started singing a birthday song. We cut the cake from a tiny tree house that we had built together and happily ate the delicious piece of cake without even thinking about Papa and Mumma. At the end of our private little function, I decided to play a small prank on Grandpa. When Grandpa went to keep the knife and other such things inside the house, I hid in the darkness of a shed nearby and started yelling. Grandpa came running and started searching all around the house. When he neared the shed, I shut my mouth and waited. After a few minutes, I heard his foot steps approaching me. "BOOOO", I screamed hard. I thought he would playfully scold me. But he stood there transfixed and the next moment, I heard myself crying. He was down on the floor, motionless. Amidst all these chaos, Papa had come to the shed and seeing Grandpa on the floor, he scowled at me and rushed for help. It was only after a couple of hours did I come to know that Grandpa was no more. He had suffered a fatal heart attack. Mumma looked at me as if I was her father's murderer. Nobody cared to remember the fact that Grandpa was a heart patient. My life became the worst kind of miserable since then.

Soon my parents got bored with me, a silent kid always staring at the stars and Mumma gave birth to another baby, this time a boy. They named him David, after my Grandpa. I never thought I would even look at that naughty little tot. But he had my Grandpa's name and I couldn't resist getting close to any trace of him. I started smiling, I started feeling alive, all because of David. I fell in love with the way he smiled when asleep. Time flew thereafter. I didn't talk to anyone other than David in all those years that passed. We grew to be the best of friends and just like with my Grandpa, did so many fun stuff together. I would often get beaten up for his mischiefs, but I silently put up with it for the sake of his happiness. When Papa admitted him to a boarding school in the city, I cried my eyes off. I tried to make him stay, but Papa wouldn't let him. He wanted David to have the finest institution in the country while I went to a local school nearby.

It was the last day of Summer vacation and David was trying to enjoy it as much as he could. It was the final day of my college vacation too. David was now fourteen years old, but was still super friendly to me unlike the other boys of his age who would grow to be silent by this time, when at home. I was out in my tree house reading a book on introverts. Papa had gone to office as he was a really workaholic man who didn't care whether it was a working day or not. Mama was busy getting ready for her kitty party. She left soon and while leaving, asked me to look after David's needs. I shook my head happily, because I would do anything for my baby boy, which was how I called him. A few minutes later, David came running to me saying that he wanted to teach me something. I agreed to learn. He always knew some or the other interesting thing and never failed to impress me. We went to his room and he asked me to tie his hands and legs to the bed frame. "What are you asking me to do baby boy ?", I got confused and inquired.
"Just do as I say Emma, this is going to be fun", he said.
I found four ropes in the room and tied him as harmlessly as I could. He asked me to turn my back on him and after some three or four minutes, I heard him say "ready". I discovered that he had surprisingly freed himself from all four ropes.
"But how did you do that baby boy ? How can anyone do anything like that ?"
"Oh Emma, this is nothing. I learned this from my friend whose father is a magician. Do you want to learn this ?", he urged.
I was a little hesitant, but agreed anyhow. I didn't want to upset him on this day. I lay on the bed and he tied my hands and legs. Then he started giving instructions. I was excited to learn the tricks and I followed whatever he said. "Tug at the first rope with all your might. Then at the second and so on", he said. I tried, but couldn't.
"This is not happening boy", I faked crying.
"Now close your eyes and try again."
By the time I closed my eyes, I felt him on my body and I screamed when I saw what he was intending to do. He was undressing me like a beast and was all over me. I wailed for so long that my mouth dried up. I tried resisting, but he was stronger than me. My baby boy was no longer human. He was not someone I thought he was. I couldn't recognise him, I couldn't recognise me, I couldn't breathe and I didn't want to even.
When he was finally done, he smirked at me, untied me and dashed to the kitchen. "Don't you dare say this to Papa or Mumma", he said. "Or else, you may. But trust me, they are not going to believe you." I knew somewhere deep in my mind that his words were true. Who would believe me if I said that my blood raped me ? That my baby boy did those things to me that no girl would ever want to happen to her ?

I crawled out of the house, into the shed, into the darkest corner of it and wept till dusk. I hated me, I hated everything, I hated Grandpa's name and for a few seconds, I hated Grandpa too. But when Papa came searching for me, he asked me where all the bruises on my body came from. I had already formed the answer in my head and told him that I had fell from a nearby hill when I was trying to collect a few herbs. He sort of believed my tale and followed me into the house, but nobody seemed to be interested in giving me the first aid.

I hid from David till he left the following day and quietly suffered the pain in my body. Day by day, I saw myself getting bigger by the stomach, but was adamant to not let Papa or Mumma know. If they came to know that I was pregnant, they would kick me out saying that I had some dirty connections. They would never believe me even if I said the truth. However within a few months, they found out that I was pregnant. They beat me a lot trying to make me spell out the sinner's name. I didn't and by the fall of night, I left home.

Leaving home was not easy, but finding some place to stay was harder than that. Nobody wanted a cast out in their house. I wandered for days, spending my nights in verandas of random shops and streets. Finally, I found refuge in the small house of a widow, who was kind enough to let me live there until I had found some means of living. That night, I sat near the window of the room that she gave me, gazing at the stars. I knew I didn't like a bit of what had happened to me. But my thoughts were vague and disoriented. If the baby in my stomach had come from someone I loathed, some cruel stranger, I could easily hate the baby and get it destroyed. But it had come from David, my baby boy, who I had loved more than myself. It had come from my Grandpa's grandson. I was always a mother to my David and now, I was to be the mother of his baby. I couldn't hate the baby. I loved him, for now, I was sure that he was a boy. I wanted a boy, I wanted to raise him with all the love I had for Grandpa, with all the love I had for my baby brother. I wiped out the tears that had rolled down my cheeks with the hem of my soiled dress. I knew it would be really hard to be a single parent. The society would never accept me since the baby had no father nor a name for his father. I didn't know how my baby would react whenever people mocked at him, or how he would react when I would refuse to disclose how he was born. I knew nothing about being a mother, I knew nothing about raising a child. I didn't even know to talk to people other than to Grandpa who often came in my dreams. For all that happened to me, I knew my baby wasn't responsible. It was not a fault of his and hence I wanted him to be born. I wanted him to be happily alive. I would do all I could to keep him smiling, I knew. I loved my Grandpa and after all this, I forgave my brother and still loved him. Now, I love his baby too, or to be precise, my baby. I saw Orion in the sky and I felt Grandpa's eyes staring at me not with shock, but with hope. I would build a house and live with my baby, who I would name David, right under the stars, happily forever.