different » marvel ¹

thirty

The words slowed down my breathing, but I still didn't say a word.

• • •

   "Something's wrong. She hasn't said anything since last night." Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he stood next to his friend. "Steve, I-I don't know what to do. What—"

   "Hey," Steve said, placing a hand on his panicking friend's shoulder. "It's gonna be alright, Buck. She's going to be fine."

   Bucky shakes his head a little. The moment he'd hugged her the night before, he knew that something was terribly wrong and it wouldn't just go away. "I just got a bad feeling, Steve," he gulped, sitting down on the couch behind him. "I heard her yell, so I ran in there . . . she was on the floor with her head in her hands," his voice broke out. "Whatever was happening, she snapped out of it and she looked up at me and started sobbing." Bucky kept his eyes down as he explained what had happened, trying to ignore the tightening of his chest as he did so. It hurt him to see her in distress, even more so when he couldn't help to completely relieve it.

   "Buck . . . I know that this is bad, but it's Raven. She's one of the toughest people we know, she'll tell you when she's ready. Maybe she just needed to calm down," Steve reasons. "If it's how you said, she'd need a few hours to get her head straight," he gives a small smile. "Just try talking to her."

• • •

I knew I scared Bucky with what had happened, and I felt bad, but it scared the hell out of me too. The feeling had dissipated in the hours that passed, but a small pit of anxiety never left the bottom of my stomach.

The door to the room creaked open, making my head snap up. "Hey," Bucky called out. "I know you didn't really say that you wanted anything, but I—uh—I got some breakfast."

He closes the door behind him and comes to sit on the bed next to me. I muster a small smile and take the bag and coffee from him. "Thank you," I mutter. He relaxes a bit with my words and kicks off his shoes before leaning back against the headboard of the bed.

I pull a small tray from the bag and begin eating, clearly glad that he brought food. Bucky kept his attention directed to the tv that was playing some cartoon, but I knew that he was waiting for me to say something, so I did.

I let out a soft sigh and sat the bagel I was eating down, brushing my hands together afterwards. "Last night . . . I know I scared you. I'm sorry," I apologize quietly.

"You don't have to be sorry." He looked down to his lap. "Just . . . just talk to me about it." There was an underlying tone of want in his voice and it struck a cord with me. I knew that from the moment we reconnected to now, I shut him out in that way. I would make him talk to me about things, but I would never do the same with him.

I reached for my necklace, beginning to flip the metal of the tags between my fingers. "Raven," he said firmly, getting my attention. "Just tell me what you're thinking. I want to help you, please." He grabbed my hand that held the tags, making me let go of them.

I nod lowly, trying to figure out what to say.

"I was standing in the bathroom, looking in the mirror . . . my eyes changed color and this gold started to show in them," I say slowly, trying to make sure what I said made sense. "Next thing I knew, I was in a field—like the ones we flew over when we came here." I glanced up at him. Bucky was listening intently, rubbing my hand with his thumb as he did so. "There were people fighting, but I couldn't see what they were fighting against. I think we were in a war?" I shake my head, the confusion from this part of the vision still present. "Then I looked up and I was in the woods. Steve was there."

   Bucky cocked his head to the side slightly, wanting to know more but not saying anything to interrupt me. "But he was different. His—his hair was longer and he had a beard. There was blood and cuts across his face and he had a different shield," I described as best as I could, my brows creasing as I spoke. "He said something . . . it was like 'pay attention' or—" I cut myself off as I recalled the words.

"He said 'eyes up, stay sharp'." I nod confirming that's what was said. "Then my head starting feeling like it was gonna explode. I got this feeling . . . it felt like everything was falling apart and everyone was screaming. I could feel how scared everyone was." My voice cracked as I spoke. Just talking about it made my stomach ache. "This—I don't know how to explain it. It was cold and terrible. I don't want to feel it again, Bucky." I pulled my hand from his grasp, putting my face in my hands.

"Raven," he tried. My eyes watered and I hated it, I didn't want to cry anymore. I wiped the tears away and looked up, trying to stay calm.

"No," I said lowly, shaking my head. "It was death. That's what it felt like. I think people are gonna die." I explain, finally letting the words out. A few tears escaped down my cheeks and I tried to brush them away, but Bucky beat me to it. He placed his hands on my cheeks and wiped them with his thumbs.

"Raven, look at me," he said quietly. "Raven." I looked to him, meeting his eyes. "We're going to figure this out and everyone is going to be safe. Okay? No one is dying," he consoled, leaning to me and placing a kiss on my forehead.

I let out a shaky sigh. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that whatever I saw wasn't true, but deep down, I knew it was. I don't know when or how long from now it would happen, but it would.

And we would lose.