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Code Slingers the Musical

Humor

A group of hotshot programmers try to save the jobs of hundreds of their fellow employees when a group of slimy venture capitalists try to shut down the company. It includes songs like "Will I get an Offer or Shown the Door" and "The Layoff Package...

#computers #geeks #layoffs #nerds

Act Three, Scene Three

21 4 6

by JTTwissel

by JTTwissel

Scene 3 – the End

Cube City: The cube walls have been torn down and are lying in a heap on the floor. The creature they call “Nobody” is sitting on a pile of cube walls.

Nobody:
        ‘Tear down the walls’ she yelled,
        TexAnnie and her gang,
and my lovely home
came down with a bang.
        Ripping and tearing.
like they were insane.
        And when they were done,
        into the street they’d run,
singing happy joyous songs,
to everyone they met,
        A great big severance package,
a week’s pay for every year,
        Cobra coverage and a pension, indeed!
        It wasn’t too much to ask for,
        It was only what we need
and then they were gone
just like Cube City
        Gone, gone, gone....

Enter: Alma from the side with a couple of moving men. ‘Nobody’ hides behind the pile.

Alma:
Take them all away, gents.

Moving Man 1:
To the new site?

Alma, laughing:
There’s no new site

Moving Man 1
Well, what happened to all the people who used to work here?

Alma laughing:
        I guess you could say that,
        They were the lucky beneficiaries
        Of corporate greed,
        From now on, they don’t have to work,
        They have all they need.

Moving Man 2:
        Huh?
Alma:
        A great big severance package,
         A week’s pay for every year,
        Cobra coverage and a pension indeed|
        It wasn’t too much to ask for,
        It was only what they’d need.
        When all was said and done,
        The VCs paid through the tooth,
        To avoid unpleasant law suits
        And years in Duluth
        Snowbahl had a heart attack,
        But wasn’t lucky enough to die,
        Sol went down to Sedona,
        To tend his Third Eye.

        So, take the cubes back to the rental store,
        We won’t be needing them anymore,
        And take old Mr. Nobody,
        With you out the door.

The Moving Men move the piles off stage left with Nobody perched on top.

Enter: The CodeSlingers and the rest of the group:

        A great big severance package,
        A week’s pay for every year,
        Cobra coverage and pensions indeed
        It’s not too much to ask for,
        It’s not too much to ask for,
        It’s only what you’ll need!