No Strings

In the Beginning

December 2, 2018.

Journal #4, Entry #16

It's been four days since Tate and I last spoke.

I'm feeling really alone.

I really miss Tate, but more than anything I miss Ruben.

I think I miss him more now than I did in the beginning, if that's even possible.

I think its because the hole keeps getting bigger, and not smaller. People promised me it would get easier with time, but they lied.

...

I wish Tate was here.

Tate makes it smaller.

_

The flashing of our faces smiling in the icon is bright as it stares up at me. More than anything I want to ignore it. I don't want to answer. I want him to worry and wait, like I did. But Tate and I both know I'm not strong enough to do that.

I'm silent as I accept his call. It's a few moments before he speaks and the silence is deafening.

He says only one word, and with it all of my walls crumble and turn to dust.

"Rinny..."

Deep breath.

"Tate..."

A sigh.

"I'm sorry."

A beat of quiet.

"I know."

_

The house is a big two story. Its beautiful with a grass lawn in front and large trees all around. The night sky is an ethereal backdrop to it all, as the stars twinkle and the moon brings brightness down to it all.

Tate doesn't knock, but instead just enters the house, holding the door open for me. His expression and body language are comfortable, confident even. Like he's been here many times before, which I would guess he has.

He begins walking forward but I grab onto the back of his sweater and tug slightly, effectively bringing him to a stop.

"How many people are here again?" The uncertainty is beginning to cloud my mind and the butterflies pick up speed. I hate parties, everything about them makes me feel sick inside.

"Less than ten, including us. This can't even be classified as a real party Rin, don't overthink it." I know he means to come off reassuring but instead it comes out almost condescending as he looks at me, eyebrows and mouth both pursed.

The voice of a male cuts through our conversation as he hollers.

"Tate, that you?"

"Yeah Ace, it's me." Tate doesn't hesitate to immediately once again begin making his way down the hall as I helplessly follow behind like a lost puppy.

We stop when we come to an archway and Tate stands in front of me. I can't tell if he's blocking them from seeing me, or me from seeing them.

Finally he steps into the room fully and makes room for me to do the same.

The first thing I realize is he's right. There's only six people, including us. This is hardly a party.

The first is a woman, no taller than five feet, and she is a beautiful blonde and she's sitting in the lap of male with blonde hair to match her own. And beside them is another pair, a male with black hair and a gorgeous brunette.