i like (the idea of) you • grayson dolan

fifteen

The first day of school I was convinced I hated him. And I knew I was far less outgoing than girls he had dated in the past.

There was still one thing bothering me though. "Pause. I can't do this—"

"Opal, don't back out on me now," Grayson frowns, hands resting on either side of my face. "We finally got our shit together. Well, I did. Please don't change your mind just because you're scared."

"No it's... not that, surprisingly," I say, letting my eyes drift to the floor behind him. "I can't do this if I don't know why you act so different around your friends."

I could never be with someone who was a complete ass to me just because he was with his friends. So far, Grayson had been.

He lets out a sigh, sitting up a little straighter. Running his fingers through his messed up hair, he nods. "I know. I'm sorry."

My eyebrows raise, and I shift where I'm sitting on his lap so I can look him in the eye better. Perhaps I should get off, but his hands hold me in place.

I wait patiently for his answer. It seems as if he's struggling to find the words, so I don't push. His pink lips are forming a pout, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on my hips as he thinks.

"There's really not a good reason, Opal. I know I've been an ass and whatever I tell you won't change that."

"Gray, it's too late to change anything, I just wanna know," I tell him, biting my lip. "I forgive you, I mean... I was just kissing you. But I need to know why, and that you're going to try to be better."

"I just... I'm sure you've noticed I'm not actually that close with too many of my friends outside of school," he frowns, looking down at me. It was noticeably hard for him to open up about this—he wasn't shy, but he hid a lot of things behind a guise of being loud and obnoxious. "And a lot of them are assholes, obviously.

"We've always gotten along fine at school though, and one thing that's always made me feel good is being able to make people laugh. Being around them is like—like I've got tunnel vision for stupid decisions. It's encouraged, and the way they react has always felt good. We bounce those dumb ideas off of each other.

"With you, though," he grants me the privilege of seeing his smile again and meets my eyes, "you just let me... be. As I am. Annoying, and loud, but no pressure to impress anyone. In the moment, teasing you, making them laugh—the reaction from them feels good. But I always regret it right after. And I wanna be different, I wanna try."

It feels like my heart is breaking at the way his voice drops, he's truly afraid to admit these things. I've judged Grayson too harshly.

He'd still been an ass, but I understood where he was coming from. He genuinely felt bad about it, I could see it in his eyes that he wanted things to be different.

"You're more than just annoying and loud, you know," I tell him with a small smile. Grayson tilts his head, waiting for me to continue. "You're sweet... and confident, honest, loyal, optimistic, fun, dependable, adventurous—"

"Opal," he laughs, cutting me off. "Thank you."

"Thanks for telling me," I whisper. Maybe I said too much.

"Still wanna give this a shot, now that we've talked? I didn't make you change your mind?"

"Let's do it."

Grayson leans forward, "I—have been wanting—to kiss you again—for weeks," he mumbles against my mouth, both of us smiling through it.

"Why didn't you?" I smirk, lightly nibbling on his bottom lip. The mood had already shifted, the serious conversation taking a weight off both of our shoulders.

"Damn, what did you do with shy Opal?" He laughs. I shrug, savoring the taste of him. "I was going to, a few times, but then we fought and I didn't wanna kiss you while you were mad at me," Grayson says, gasping as I shift my position on his lap. That was an accident, but I'm not exactly sorry. "I almost kissed you in the hall that day, but I wasn't sure if you would be okay with that. And then you yelled at me not to so... I didn't push."

"Thank you for waiting," I sigh softly. "Do you think—would it be okay if we kept this private for a little while?"

Grayson laughs, "why, you embarrassed of me?" His tone is teasing, but I still reassure him I'm not. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea though. We can keep this just to us for now."

It felt so strange, but so good to be like this with him. If someone told me at the beginning of the year that I'd be here by November, I would've laughed.

The first day of school, I was anxious just at the sight of him. Now he had his tongue in my mouth.

Grayson and I sit like that for a while, talking, kissing, happy to not be fughting anymore. Even before we were arguing, I'd been fighting my feelings for him for a while.

I was so busy looking for any excuse to not like him that I didn't even think he might feel the same. I guess him kissing me that first time was a big sign that I just didn't want to believe after what happened.

We eventually get off the couch, both of us wanting some of the cookies he brought over earlier. I can't wait to call Celia about this after he leaves.

She's going to crucify me, obviously, since I've been calling him annoying for years. But I know she'll be happy too.

Celia was included in the secret—I couldn't just not tell her. But she wouldn't say anything to anyone, maybe Julie, but no one else.

"Babe, you should change back into that towel," he grins at me. I raise my eyebrows at him, arms crossed. "You looked really fucking good in just that. Though you don't have to wear anything—"

"Grayson!" I gasp, feeling my face warm.

Grayson just laughs as I blush and splutter over my words. "You're cute when you blush."

"Oh my god, you're a cheesy boyfriend," I say, seeing him roll his eyes. "Grayson Dolan, you are the cockiest guy I've ever met, and you're secretly cheesy and romantic?"

"Shh, I have a reputation to uphold," he teases, pulling me into his arms again.

Right now, it feels like nothing could ever pull us apart.

A/N

ugh finally omg. dumbasses to the extreme, but they got their shit together and they be cute

wattpad was so broken this week, all my stories disappeared djdjd I panicked ngl