Lonely | Kawoshin

Jealousy

It came to a point where it was impossible to see Shinji without Kaworu. He even presented him to Rei and Asuka. But he kind of regretted it.

Asuka immediately took a liking towards him, nothing to important but she always tried to impress him somehow. Kaworu, being the kind person he is, akways complimented her for her actions. Shinji didn't really like that, he wanted to be the only one who received compliments from Kaworu. He was his friend not hers.

Shinji didn't notice that Kaworu was aware of his complex feelings. And Kaworu, even thought he was angelical, he sometimes could act the opposite of it. Kaworu took advantage of this and always tried to be close with Asuka, but always observing how the other boy would react.

It was funny to Kaworu how Shinji didn't seem aware of the annoyed facial expressions he made whenever Asuka approached him, he found it adorable. But he did feel a little bit bad, he wanted to reassure Shinji that he would always come first, and that there would never be someone more important than him. But he didn't want to scare him off.

Everyone found it amusing whenever the red-haired girl and Shinji argued about who would be partners with Kaworu in school projects. It was weird that Shinji talked so much during classes and especially in such way towards the scary gorgeous girl. But it didn't matter how much they fought, Kaworu always chose Shinji to work with him boosting Shinji's confidence for just a little bit.

Something else that Shinji also didn't notice was that he was putting effort on more things. He was trying to get better grades and he was also trying to improve his appearance. Shinji didn't realize he wanted to be noticed and complimented too by Kaworu.

"Kaworu-Kun!" It has been a while since Shinji started calling him by his first name "There is this restaurant that just got inaugurated near my house and I... I was wondering if..." Even though Shinji had gotten more confortable in talking with Kaworu, he still felt shy whenever asking for something.

"I'll go" Kaworu replied, not even waiting for Shinji to finish the attempt of his sentence.

Shinji was excited, but nervous. It would be the first time he hanged out with Kaworu outside school. It was out of his comfort, but he was willing to try for him. He was glad he had an excuse to see him for more time than he usually does.

Kaworu in the other hand, was filled with pure happiness. He never thought Shinji would do such a big step like that by himself. It was definitely pleasant when the one you like the most is showing interest on you. But, did Shinji even realized it? Kaworu didn't want to get his own hopes up, especially when the younger one didn't seem to take Kaworu's feelings seriously.

After school, the walk towards the place was silent but in a nice way. It was a lovely day, the sun shining beautifully and the clouds protecting them from the blinding light, the elementary kids running around while playing tag, the soft wind of autumn traveling through their skin causing small shivers.

And yet, all that both males were focusing on, was the subtle hand touching as they walked. Kaworu thinking if he should just go for it and Shinji wondering why he is suddenly feeling so embarrassed but didn't want to move his hand away. In the end, their hands were never hold, not giving Kaworu the satisfaction of knowing how it would feel to intertwine their fingers.

They had arrived and sat on a table of the small new Italian restaurant that probably had the same name as all Italian restaurants, something about pizza and ovens. Instead of sitting in front of each other, they were right besides, it always felt more comfortable that way.

The soft talking and quiet chuckles were always there, and so were the subtle stares and caressing as they waited for their order. Such nice ambience had to be ruined by Shinji's curiosity "So... what do you think about Asuka?"

The white-haired boy smiled to himself, already knowing where this was going. He pretended he didn't know what Shinji was talking about.

"You two... seem to be getting along pretty well" this time Shinji avoided the eyes of the other, embarrassed by his clinginess. He didn't want Kaworu to think he couldn't have other friends or even a girlfriend.

Kaworu hummed "Why do you ask? Are you jealous?" the slight smirk was not an expression Shinji was used to. Shinji quickly had defended himself, there was no reason for him to be jealous and no matter how much he denied it, Kaworu didn't seem to buy a single thing.

"I had already told you..." Kaworu continued as he placed a hand on Shinji's "Im only interested in you" a reassuring smile took place.

Shinji didn't move his hand away, but he still acted defensively "I-I told you to stop joking about that... it's weird" when Kaworu asked why it was weird made Shinji realize he didn't know the reason either. He just thought boys shouldn't act that way towards each other, but he couldn't say it out loud because even himself though it was stupid.

"Shinji-Kun... do you like m-" Kaworu's sentence was interrupted by the waitress arriving with their food, making Shinji enter into a panicked state and quickly remove his hand away from Kaworu.

Kaworu didn't press on the matter, he felt he had done enough. They just ate their food and changed the subject like nothing ever happened. This left Kaworu a feeling of disappointment and Shinji, as always, was confused.

He had thought his heart was almost going to burst out his chest when Kaworu placed his hand on his. Why did the taller boy always made him feel this way?

When they were done, Shinji realized he didn't want to wait until Monday to see Kaworu again. Desperate times have desperate solutions, he thought. Just as the sun was setting and they were getting ready to return home, Shinji once again decided to ask for more of Kaworu's time "H-Hey... do you wanna, spend the night at my house?"

"Hmm... is your father okay with it?" Kaworu knew Shinji didn't had a good relationship with his father, so he was worried he wouldn't like the idea of his son bringing friends home.

Shinji nodded "I don't think he even cares anyways, besides he's not home often" so Kaworu agreed to go with him.

The pale boy was nervous, he didn't know how good of an idea would be spending time together alone at Shinji's house. He was perfectly aware of his feelings towards the boy and he was scared he might say or do something that would scare him enough to completely erase all trust he has on him. Kaworu was often known as a gentleman, but he was also a teenager and like all the others, he also has his needs sometimes. He respected Shinji in all ways but that didn't mean he had never thought about him in an inappropriate way. That made Kaworu wonder if Shinji ever thought about him like that.

Just as Shinji had assumed, his father was not currently home and for some reason, this made him even more nervous. He kept glancing at Kaworu's figure as he wondered around the house complimenting it.

"Are you not gonna call your parents you're not returning home?" Shinji asked, to which Kaworu replied about how he lived alone, that made Shinji embarassed "O-Oh, I'm sorrry..." the other boy simply shrugged and said it didn't matter anyways. Shinji was curious but he didn't have the bravery to ask more.

The last place he showed to his friend, was his room. It had nothing special, it was plain but Kaworu always said how everything he had was so beautiful and fitting for him. Shinji never really understood what the pale boy meant sometimes.

Shinji had never thought he would bring someone to his home, nevertheless, spend the night with them. He was happy he could finally experience what everybody else found so normal. He wondered if Kaworu was as happy as him.

"Uh... do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Shinji asked, not sure what people did in this kind of situations.

"Sure, Asuka told me there's this new movie on Netflix and it was really good. So, I want to watch it if that's okay"

Back at it again with Asuka, Shinji mentally rolled his eyes at the mention of the girl. He didn't like that Kaworu had to bring her up now. Shinji juat nodded at brought his laptop towards the bed, where they sat beside each other.

The light contact between their legs wasn't something they paid attention to, Kaworu too busy on his own world and Shinji still slightly mad at the possible love interest of his only friend.