From Vague To Vivid

Chapter 1

Its been two days. Two days since the fateful dhyut sabha incident. Two days since his ears have not stopped reverberating her screams. Two days since he saw her after leaving her chambers that night. And two days since he left his own chambers.
But now she herself came up to him.

"I am a hypocrite."

"Arjun .." , before she could continue Arjun interuppted her still with his back faced towards her, "No Panchali that's what I am. Every single time you get hurt I vow to never let you go through that again. But I fail. Every single time I fail. I failed you. I failed myself..."

"So now what? Now what Arjun? This time you will not make a vow?What...",Arjun could sense disgust in her voice as she spoke, "What do you want to prove Arjun by remaining in your chambers for the whole two days, isolating yourself?".

Sensing the sharp tone in her voice Arjun turned to look into her eyes. And he saw what he was most afraid to see all this time, the feelings of pain, frustration and betrayal. Yes he didn't leave his chambers from the night after he successfully managed to make Panchali eat something when she was so broken, so destroyed that she didn't even want to see the face of any of them.

But the instant their eyes collided Draupadi's anguish softened. She could now see the pain held in her beloved's eyes for letting her down.

Everytime she looks into his eyes she is suddenly reminded of everything they went through, every single moment they spent together and every single moment they didn't spend together.... because her heart never allows her to fade any memory which is related to him .... even the most painful ones.
And once again those hazels were overpowering her.

Never... never had she seen this much pain and guilt in his eyes before.

"I.. I ..I forgive you Arjun. Forgive you for not speaking against Mata Kunti's words. For leaving me for 12 years. For bringing another..lov... bride. I forgive you Arjun even when you didn't deem it necassary to apologize for all these things."

Draupadi could no longer withstand the intensity of emotions his eyes were reflecting so she turned and continued with now her back towards him, "Something in your eyes forces me every time Arjun to look beyond your actions and I have been successful all these times to see through your inner battles and emotions . But I can't possibly do the same in this situation. This time Arjun your eyes can't overpower me.
This time I should have mattered more to you. My respect, my dignity, my integrity, should have mattered more to you. This time you shouldn't have succumbed to the boundings Arjun..You shouldn't..."

She could no longer continue, her voice became weary, as she collapsed on the bed next to her and kept on repeating "you shouldn't".

But she did not cry. Not because she was strong enough, not because she was doubting the worth of her tears but just because there were no tears left for her to cry.

Arjun was devastated himself and made no move to comfort her by any sort of physical contact instead he was scrutinsing her, her state, her lifeless body, her unshed tears, everything, silently blaming himself for every ounce of pain she suffered ..but he finally spoke causing Draupadi to look into his eyes again.

"I shoudn't..there are many things I shouldn't have done Panchali. And you know why, why I never asked for your forgiveness because I am not sure Panchali what would I have done if I were to have second chances in all these situations. Because forgiveness means something to me. I can't.. I can't blatantly disrespect someone at one moment and ask for forgiveness the other moment. I am afraid but I would have acted the same way panchali as I already did."

Draupadi knew he was speaking the truth and as much as it stung her she knew he wouldn't have changed the past if he had a second chance. He always believed everything happened for greater good.

Considering Draupadi's silence as her wish for him to continue what he was saying he spoke again. This time on knees sitting on the ground and taking her hands in his slowly caressing her smooth skin and gently squeezing.

He was himself broken but he has to fix her. He was suffering his own deeds but she.. she was undeserved of all these, she was subjected to atrocities, she is suffering his deeds, his brothers's deeds.

Draupadi's eyes bored into his as he spoke,
"Every single time Draupadi when I look into your eyes I can see what you hold for me. And every time I think I don't deserve it."

......

So here's the first chapter. You might be a bit counfused about what exactly is happening but every single confusion will be cleared as the story progress.