FRIENDS - BWS

5 | Missing You

I try to catch his eyes, but he turns his head away. All I want is an explanation. I just want to know what makes him hate Jay like that. Maybe there's something I can do to make him stop hating him so much.

"He's using you, can't you see that?" he finally says, looking at me straight in the eyes.

I can literally read in his eyes the hate and disgust he feels toward Jay. I stare at him blankly, with no idea what he means by that.

"Using me for what?" I ask, lost.

"It doesn't matter", Brad says, turning his attention back to his plate still sitting on the table. "Why are you even still with him?" he adds, turning back to me. "You said it yourself, he never told you he loves you. Don't you think you deserve someone who will actually do?"

That hurts. I feel a sharp pain in my chest, as if someone stabbed me with a knife. I told him that secret thinking I could trust him, and instead he's using it against me.

"Fuck you", I say as I get off the couch, ready to throw him out. "Get out of here".

"Em", he says, looking straight at me with sorry eyes, but yet not moving from the sofa. "That's not what I meant".

I grab him by the arm and try to drag him out, but he won't move.

"Come on, stop it already", he says as I keep pulling on his arm, trying my hardest to get him to leave my place. But he remains glued to the sofa.

"You know I didn't mean it that way", he says, seeing how hurt I am.

I can feel the anger and frustration threatening to burst out of me. Because after all, he's right. Jay has yet to expressed his love for me. It's only three words, but they meant everything to me. 'Why hasn't he said anything yet?' I think as my vision starts to blur and I swallow back my tears. 

"You don't wanna leave?" I say, defeated. "Fine, then stay".

I leave the living room and grab my coat before proceeding to walk towards to door, but Brad catches up to me and closes the door before I can leave. He grabs me by the arm and makes me face him, not letting go of his grip on me.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that", he says, taking my hand in his.

I quickly pull away, feeling tears starting to fall down my cheeks.

"Em", Brad says in a broken voice, probably realizing what he did. "I'm really sorry", he continues, pulling me close to him and wrapping his arms around me. He hugs me tight, placing a hand on my waist and another on the back of my head. And despite all the anger I feel toward him at that moment, I let him hug me. I pull him closer to me and break down in tears. I don't know why I had such an extreme reaction to what Brad said, but there's nothing I can do to stop it. We stay in each other's arms in the middle of the doorway for a few minutes, not letting go of each other, my head snugged in his neck and his shirt absorbing all of my tears. When my sobs finally calm down, Brad releases the pressure of his arms around me, and kisses my forehead.

"I'm sorry for being a dick", he says, making me chuckle a little.

That he is, indeed.

"Jay loves you. You'd have to be blind not to see it", he reluctantly admits and I wonder if he means it. I give him a half smile, wiping the last tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand. I miss that side of him; the caring and gentle Brad I know. We haven't spent much time together lately because of the recording of the new album, and I truly miss him.

"I missed the Brad who's not a dick", I say, making him smile.

"I'll try to make him show up more often then", he answers before winking at me, making me laugh in return. We stand there in silence, looking at each other, until Brad broke the silence.

"I should probably go", he says, scratching the back of his head.

"Don't", I immediately say, not wanting him to leave. "Stay here tonight. We haven't spent time just the two of us in forever".

"Weren't you going somewhere when I came in?"

Oh shit. I forgot I was supposed to meet Jay at his place tonight. 

"It's fine, I'll just cancel", I say as I walk towards the living room where I left my phone.

"You were going to his place, weren't you?" Brad asks behind me.

Is it just me or is he happy I'm cancelling my plans with Jay to spend time with him? Not that I'd be surprised if he was anyways. I grab my phone and see a new message notification from Jay.

"Sorry baby, can't make it tonight. Going out with the guys. Hope to see you at my place when I come back though"

Well, there goes my guilt to cancel on him. I quickly reply his text, letting him know I'm staying home tonight, and turn back to Brad.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I ask as I sit down next to him.

"Please don't make me watch another one of your chick flick movies", he answers, quickly grabbing the TV remote.

"Hmm excuse me?", I answer, sprawling over him to get the remote back. "It's my place, I choose what we watch".

Brad stretches his arm out so that I can't reach his hand, grabbing onto me with his free arm to stop me from stealing the remote. After a few minutes of me fighting for the remote, crushed in his arms, I decide to go for a different strategy.

"Give it to me, or I kick you in the balls", I say, very serious.

Brad laughs, clearly not taking me seriously.

"You know what I'm capable of", I say in reference to the numerous times I've kicked him down there in the past, by accident or not.

"You wouldn't dare", he answers, not laughing so much all of a sudden.

"Test me"

He stares at me for a few seconds, trying to figure out if I'm bluffing or not, and finally bows, handing me the remote.

"No chick flicks", he repeats, pushing me away with his feet.

"Good choice B. Your future kids thank you. Now let's see if Mean Girls is available on Netflix", I answer before turning my attention to the TV.

"Fuck me", Brad says, covering his face with his hands in desperation.

"Oh you wish, mate", I answer, earning me a kick in the legs by Brad, lying down next to me.

I take pity on him and decide for a movie that the both of us would enjoy. I lie down on the sofa, Brad behind me, his head resting on the armrest and his arm wrapped around me, the way we use to every time we sleep together. I can't explain why, but I feel safe in his arms, the way no one else can make me feel. We watch the movie until we both fall asleep in each other's arms.